You Can't Go Forward If You're Always Lookin Back

In our Free Store conversation on Thursday morning we talked about the importance of learning to think win/win.  This is one of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People according to Stephen Covey.  We talked about how it is very easy to get into serious conflict with people and that things can get ugly.  Joelle said that sometimes you just "want to kick someone's ass" which made us laugh.

The question was asked to start things off, "what does it mean to think win/win?"  On of our new friends said that it meant to think before you act.  Joelle said that it meant that you handled a situation in such a way that both people could walk away feeling good about things.  Terrence said that he thought it involved having a "championship mentality."  He said that you can't always win with a fist fight and that you had to use other resources to achieve your goals.

We talked a bit at this point about what is involved in approaching relationships with a win/win mentality.  Joelle said that sometimes you just had to take a step back from the situation.  And even though it could be difficult there were times when it was important to not say anything at all so as not to make the situation worse.  She went on to say that things can be said that are "hurtful and hateful."

Our friend Carolyn said that it was important to practice forgiveness.  She said that she was learning how to let go and let God.  She said that it was important to tune things out at times and not let it get under your skin.  At this Terrence said that it was important to stay positive.  He said, "don't let your enemy bring you down to his level."  Carolyn said there was an old saying, "you can't go to heaven with grudges in your heart" which made us laugh.

As we talked about forgiveness Joelle said that in order to think win/win, "I have to be willing to apologize for my actions."  This led us to discuss the importance of taking responsibility for our own part in the conflicts we have with others.  It is as important to be willing to apologize as it is to forgive.  We talked a bit about how we can lock ourselves in the past by constantly rehearsing the things that have hurt us.  Joelle told us that "you can't move forward if you're always looking back."  Someone else said it would be like walking forward with your head always facing behind you which made us laugh.

As the conversation moved to a conclusion George said, "you don't know what's goin through someone's mind."  He said that people on the street have it hard and that we should be compassionate.  He said that a person "could have had a toothe ache" which made us laugh.  We laughed because George recently had a toothe ache (and complained loudly and incessantly about it!) and had to have a molar removed yesterday.  At this Jack said that since people don't generally go around sayin "I got a toothe ache" that the only way to really get to know what people are going through was through genuine friendship.