Our friend George Dunn joined us on Thursday morning for our free store conversation and talked about driving through Myers Park on the way over. He said that he was certain God wanted him to have a house in that neighborhood and he even knew which one which made us laugh. Someone said maybe they needed a free store in that neighborhood as well. George went on to say that even though things may seem one way on the surface that appearances don't tell us everything and sometimes actually hide the ugly truth. He told us about a couple he knows that live in a very expensive house but they are in serious financial trouble because during the housing market boom they got a loan with no income verification and now they can't afford the payments.
George told us that he thinks Americans are obsessed with credit because we love the visible signs of status and success and we are obsessed with appearances. He said that he lived that way for a long time until he lost his high paying job and with it his consumer identity. Through this painful experience he told us that he learned that a human being is much more than his net worth. He also wondered how long it would be before our materialistic obsessions would lead us to the brink of national financial ruin.
At this point in the discussion George told us religious people can be just as obsessed about appearances as materialistic people (and the two often overlap). He said that in 1 Corinthains 12 & 14 the apostle Paul was dealing with early christians that were obsessed with the appearance of being spiritual. We talked a bit about how spirituality is more than just having a powerful emotional experience in a church service or in group worship. Rick told us about visiting a church where people were "going berzerk" which was beyond his comprehension and left him feeling more confused than inspired.
George said that in 1 Corinthians 13 the apostle Paul talks about love as the most important thing in life. He said that without love, "I am a big zero" and "What I've done is a big goose egg." We talked a bit about how love is what really helps us build lasting quality relationships with others. It isn't always sexy to deal with the raw reality of people but it is rewarding to go deeper in our frienships rather than staying safe on the surface. Joelle told us about attending a Nazarene church in Pineville for a while where she really got to know people. She said that it was great to go deeper with people rather than putting up walls and being superficial and isolated.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion Rick said "sometimes I think I've lost all my gifts." He said that he used to do oil painting and photography but had stopped doing these things. We encouraged Rick that what is lost can be found. At this our friend Terrence said "God is with us" and was thankful for friends that "helped me spiritually and physically."
If You're Not Living on the Edge You're Taking Up Too Much Space
9.28.2011
It Put Him On His Butt and He Woke Up
At our Tuesday morning free store conversation we talked about Jesus' parable, "A Man Had Two Sons." The story begins in the grand dreams of the younger son to escape the confines of small town life and seek bigger urban adventures. To finance his dream the young boy asks his father for his share of the inheritance up front. We talked about how this was an unusual request on a number of levels not least because it was as if the boy was saying, "Dad, I wish you were dead because I want your stuff now." As we thought about this Sheila said, "I would slap him down" which made us laugh. Marney said, "OMG (well she didn't actually say the letters) that reminds me of Marco."
As we progressed in the story it turns out the father actually granted his young son the unusual request and gave him his share of the inheritance even though it might put the family in a tough spot. Although the story didn't say why the father did this we speculated about his reasons. Marney said, "My mother favored my youngest brother because she got older and a little tireder (of course it's a word)." Sheila said, "It's your last child" so you would spoil that child. We joked with wittle Sheila because she was da baby of da family. We also talked about how things can get nasty between siblings when it comes to dividing the inheritance.
At this point in the story the younger son gathers everything that he has been given and heads off for greener pastures in a far country. Marney thought he probably "had an entourage" as the party got started. However, things began to take a wrong turn because the boy proceeded to squander his wealth in wild living. As we talked about what squandered might mean Marney said "he partied hard." She then told us about "crawling up my grandma's steps" after nights on the town. Donald said loudly that he used to "drink, drink, drink" then he started "throwin up blood" so he realized he had a problem and turned to God.
After the money ran out (for the younger son not for Donald as far as we know) the story says that there was a famine and that since the boy had wasted all his wealth he began to starve. Things got so bad that this Jewish boy ended up working on a hog farm and actually longed to eat the pig slop. We thought a person would have to be pretty hungry for that to seem like a good meal. With the money gone, the party over, and the entourage nowhere in sight, the boy was left all alone without any help or support.
At this point the tragic tale takes a positive turn. The story says that the young man "came to his senses." Sheila said, "It put him on his butt and he woke up" which made us laugh. He thought to himself, "I'd be better off as a servant to my father since the servants always have plenty of food." So he said to himself, "I will rise and go to my father." An act of will based on sane thinking changed his life for the better and turned a tragedy into a triumph.
The story says that the boy returned home wanting to find a place as a servant but the father instead welcomed him as a son. At this Donald told us about a time when he left Charlotte and thought he would never see it again. He said, "I thought about all the stuff I did" and he was glad when things worked out and he got to come home.
As the conversation moved to a close we talked about what a great party that family must have had that night. The young son must have been thinking about what a long way he had travelled from the famine in the pig fields to the feast at the family table. We all agreed that the boy really got far better than he deserved. Sheila said, "It makes a lot of difference when you get love and respect."
As we progressed in the story it turns out the father actually granted his young son the unusual request and gave him his share of the inheritance even though it might put the family in a tough spot. Although the story didn't say why the father did this we speculated about his reasons. Marney said, "My mother favored my youngest brother because she got older and a little tireder (of course it's a word)." Sheila said, "It's your last child" so you would spoil that child. We joked with wittle Sheila because she was da baby of da family. We also talked about how things can get nasty between siblings when it comes to dividing the inheritance.
At this point in the story the younger son gathers everything that he has been given and heads off for greener pastures in a far country. Marney thought he probably "had an entourage" as the party got started. However, things began to take a wrong turn because the boy proceeded to squander his wealth in wild living. As we talked about what squandered might mean Marney said "he partied hard." She then told us about "crawling up my grandma's steps" after nights on the town. Donald said loudly that he used to "drink, drink, drink" then he started "throwin up blood" so he realized he had a problem and turned to God.
After the money ran out (for the younger son not for Donald as far as we know) the story says that there was a famine and that since the boy had wasted all his wealth he began to starve. Things got so bad that this Jewish boy ended up working on a hog farm and actually longed to eat the pig slop. We thought a person would have to be pretty hungry for that to seem like a good meal. With the money gone, the party over, and the entourage nowhere in sight, the boy was left all alone without any help or support.
At this point the tragic tale takes a positive turn. The story says that the young man "came to his senses." Sheila said, "It put him on his butt and he woke up" which made us laugh. He thought to himself, "I'd be better off as a servant to my father since the servants always have plenty of food." So he said to himself, "I will rise and go to my father." An act of will based on sane thinking changed his life for the better and turned a tragedy into a triumph.
The story says that the boy returned home wanting to find a place as a servant but the father instead welcomed him as a son. At this Donald told us about a time when he left Charlotte and thought he would never see it again. He said, "I thought about all the stuff I did" and he was glad when things worked out and he got to come home.
As the conversation moved to a close we talked about what a great party that family must have had that night. The young son must have been thinking about what a long way he had travelled from the famine in the pig fields to the feast at the family table. We all agreed that the boy really got far better than he deserved. Sheila said, "It makes a lot of difference when you get love and respect."
9.27.2011
The Morally Superior Man With Oratorical Skill Meets the Morally Questionable Guy With Low Self-Esteem
In our Free Store conversation on Saturday morning we discussed Jesus' parable in Luke 18, "Two Men Went Up to the Temple to Pray." The first man that went up was a Pharisee and he stood there by himself praying, "God I thank you that I'm not like the rest of this worthless riff raff around here." The other guy was a tax collector and he stood at a distance with his head down and prayed, "God I'm a screw up please forgive me." Yes those are literal translations directly from the original Koine Greek! Ironically, Jesus said that the morally questionable guy with low self-esteem went back to his house justified rather than the morally superior man with oratorical skill.
At this point I asked the group to follow me on a bit of a detour and asked them, "What is the purpose of a map?" Sheila said it was designed to give you directions from one place to another. George said that a map showed miles and distances and roads. Someone else brought up that maps mark out boundaries between territories and show us the lines that distinguish one geographical place from another. So basically maps mark off boundaries and give us information that can be helpful as we move from one place to another.
As the conversation progressed we talked a bit about how we all have social and moral maps that help us to distinguish the boundaries that mark out good people from bad people in the world. We talked about how religions give us maps that teach us to distinguish who is in the good group territory from who is in the bad group territory. We had a bit of fun when someone said that in growing up his religious map had warned against going to bowling alleys which everyone found amusing. Cliff couldn't remember much about the map that he got from his church which also made us laugh.
At this point in the discussion we talked about how in Jesus' world the religious map of his group favored the Pharisee over the tax collector. In the story that he told the Pharisee is clearly a good man that as someone said, "would make a good neighbor." Someone else suggested that maybe the problem was that he was "too good" which made us laugh. We also talked about how the morally superior man looked down on and was quick to exclude people that weren't just like himself. We also wondered what the morally questionable guy had done that he couldn't even lift his head and look anyone in the eye. Somone said that it is a terrible thing to be excluded and looked down on and to feel ashamed and unworthy.
In conclusion we talked about how maybe the story isn't so much about the two men that went to pray. Maybe the story is encouraging us to throw out the maps we have been given and draw new maps that include rather than exclude people from our lives. The kingdom of God will most likely include people that our moral and religious maps have placed outside the boundary lines so we might as well get used to them being in the neighborhood.
At this point I asked the group to follow me on a bit of a detour and asked them, "What is the purpose of a map?" Sheila said it was designed to give you directions from one place to another. George said that a map showed miles and distances and roads. Someone else brought up that maps mark out boundaries between territories and show us the lines that distinguish one geographical place from another. So basically maps mark off boundaries and give us information that can be helpful as we move from one place to another.
As the conversation progressed we talked a bit about how we all have social and moral maps that help us to distinguish the boundaries that mark out good people from bad people in the world. We talked about how religions give us maps that teach us to distinguish who is in the good group territory from who is in the bad group territory. We had a bit of fun when someone said that in growing up his religious map had warned against going to bowling alleys which everyone found amusing. Cliff couldn't remember much about the map that he got from his church which also made us laugh.
At this point in the discussion we talked about how in Jesus' world the religious map of his group favored the Pharisee over the tax collector. In the story that he told the Pharisee is clearly a good man that as someone said, "would make a good neighbor." Someone else suggested that maybe the problem was that he was "too good" which made us laugh. We also talked about how the morally superior man looked down on and was quick to exclude people that weren't just like himself. We also wondered what the morally questionable guy had done that he couldn't even lift his head and look anyone in the eye. Somone said that it is a terrible thing to be excluded and looked down on and to feel ashamed and unworthy.
In conclusion we talked about how maybe the story isn't so much about the two men that went to pray. Maybe the story is encouraging us to throw out the maps we have been given and draw new maps that include rather than exclude people from our lives. The kingdom of God will most likely include people that our moral and religious maps have placed outside the boundary lines so we might as well get used to them being in the neighborhood.
9.26.2011
I Never Rode With Jose Cuervo Again
Our friend Justin led the Friday morning conversation at the Free Store. To get the discussion rolling he asked the question, "Who has ever been lost?" After a bit of silence Rick told us about a time he got drunk on Tequila while hunting. Rather than drive home he decided to walk through the woods but after a while realized "the house was further than I thought" which made us laugh. He eventually came to a street with a church on the left and a bar named "Bill's Place" on the right. Rick did what anyone drunk on Tequila would do and chose the bar from where he called his ex-girlfriend to come get him. He decided that while waiting he needed another drink which apparently didn't go over very well when his friend arrived and found him drinking at the bar. He told us in a deadpan voice, "She was the only woman that ever slapped me." Someone added that she probably wasn't the only woman that ever wanted to slap him, which made us laugh. He finished the story by saying, "I never rode with Jose Cuervo again."
At this point our new friend Brad joined the conversation and talked about his experience of being spritually lost. He said, "No matter which way I turned I was still lost." But he said that when he humbled himself and asked for God's help that his life took a turn for the better. Justin told us about taking a trip to Tennessee with his wife recently and how they were relying on a GPS electronic map but ultimately found themselves with no service and no map. He said that sometimes we have to rely on other people to help us when we get stuck. Justin said he had been thinking about Acts 2:42 and Luke 8:1 recently which talked about how Jesus and the early church learned to rely on others for the help and support needed in their lives. He said that even Jesus relied on his friends to support his ministry out of their own resources.
We talked a bit about how difficult it can be to ask other people for help and to depend on others. Someone said that his mom would often tell the story about when he was learning to tie his shoes and she would try to help him but he would say, "I do it myself" which made us laugh. Our friend Brad said that he had learned that "you don't have to sell drugs" because "God will provide." He also told us about a time when everything he owned was in storage but was going to auction unless he could come up with the rent money. He said that he went to one church where the man held out his hand and offered to pray. Brad asked the question, "What good is that?" He said that he went to another church that after checking into his story helped him with his problem for which he was grateful.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion we talked about the importance of looking out for each other and learning to ask for help when we need it and give help when we can. Rick said, "Sheila told me I needed to give some of my stuff up." He went on to say, "I found 20 pairs of shoes I got from the free store" which made us laugh. He said that since he didn't think he needed that many shoes he brought most of them back for someone that might need them. Rick also said that "30 years ago things would set me off on instinct but now I let things go." At this our friend Terrence said, "when you been on the bottom so long the only alternative is up."
At this point our new friend Brad joined the conversation and talked about his experience of being spritually lost. He said, "No matter which way I turned I was still lost." But he said that when he humbled himself and asked for God's help that his life took a turn for the better. Justin told us about taking a trip to Tennessee with his wife recently and how they were relying on a GPS electronic map but ultimately found themselves with no service and no map. He said that sometimes we have to rely on other people to help us when we get stuck. Justin said he had been thinking about Acts 2:42 and Luke 8:1 recently which talked about how Jesus and the early church learned to rely on others for the help and support needed in their lives. He said that even Jesus relied on his friends to support his ministry out of their own resources.
We talked a bit about how difficult it can be to ask other people for help and to depend on others. Someone said that his mom would often tell the story about when he was learning to tie his shoes and she would try to help him but he would say, "I do it myself" which made us laugh. Our friend Brad said that he had learned that "you don't have to sell drugs" because "God will provide." He also told us about a time when everything he owned was in storage but was going to auction unless he could come up with the rent money. He said that he went to one church where the man held out his hand and offered to pray. Brad asked the question, "What good is that?" He said that he went to another church that after checking into his story helped him with his problem for which he was grateful.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion we talked about the importance of looking out for each other and learning to ask for help when we need it and give help when we can. Rick said, "Sheila told me I needed to give some of my stuff up." He went on to say, "I found 20 pairs of shoes I got from the free store" which made us laugh. He said that since he didn't think he needed that many shoes he brought most of them back for someone that might need them. Rick also said that "30 years ago things would set me off on instinct but now I let things go." At this our friend Terrence said, "when you been on the bottom so long the only alternative is up."
9.23.2011
I've Got Enough Skeletons in My Closet to Make a Zombie Army
Our friend George Dunn joined us on Thursday morning for our free store conversation and was warmly welcomed as we eagerly took the boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts from his hands. As we went to work on the donuts George said that we were going to continue our discussion of Matthew 7 that we had started last week. In this chapter Jesus says in effect, "Don't label, don't judge, and don't condemn." Someone said that he hadn't done very well with the "not judging" thing over the past week which made us laugh. Our friend went on to say that this was a very high standard of accepting other people.
We thought it was interesting when someone mentioned how in this same chapter where Jesus said that we shouldn't label people that he then went on to label some people as "hypocrites." George said that maybe we should use the word "posers" instead because "its got a softer edge" which made us laugh. So we talked a bit about how even though we might at times see the "ugly truth" about people that we shouldn't make ultimate judgments about their worth or value.
At this point George brought our attention to Jesus saying about not casting pearls before swine. None of us knew much about hogs (or pearls for that matter) except someone said that where he grew up in PA the hog farms stank the worst of all the farms which made us laugh. George said that hogs can be very nasty and he told us of a saying popular in his hometown in MI, "I ain't had this much fun since the hogs ate my sister" which made us laugh even harder. George told us that he thought the point of the saying is that "you have to be careful about what you share with people" because you can get hurt by talking to the wrong people about certain things.
As the conversation progressed we talked a bit about how people won't want to talk with you about important things in their lives if you are a judgmental and critical person. George said that Jesus told his friends not to label and judge others because he wanted them to have deep relationships with people and they couldn't do that if they were critical and judgmental. At this George told us about sitting in a Panera Bread shop bawling like a baby after a friend asked him to talk about his mom since she had passed away recently. He said he must have seemed pathetic as he weeped in the middle of the restaurant and that he cried so much that "I almost got my sandwich wet" which made us laugh. George also said, "I've got enough skeletons in my closet to make a zombie army" which made us laugh even harder.
At this point we talked about how Jesus encouraged his friends to ask for what they needed and to trust thatGod would listen to their prayers and help them. Jesus asked his friends to imagine the irony of a child that asked a parent for bread and was given a stone instead. George said it would be like "if Donald asked for a donut and we gave him a bug instead." At the mention of his name Donald said loudly, "Belt, belt, belt" and although we weren't sure exactly what he meant it did make us laugh.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion one of our friends said that when Jesus told his friends to "ask" "seek" and "knock" that he was encouraging them to take effective action to change their lives. He said that instead of taking responsible action that at times "we just sit on our asses and don't do what we know we should" which is neither active nor effective. At this Donald shared a memory he had of his grandmother telling him when he was very little that he should always go to church and believe in God. He said that he always goes to church on Sunday and its "all about God" as he pointed in the direction of the church that he regularly attends. Our friend Donna said that as she listened she was thinking that if you "sow bad seed" that you would "reap a bad harvest."
We thought it was interesting when someone mentioned how in this same chapter where Jesus said that we shouldn't label people that he then went on to label some people as "hypocrites." George said that maybe we should use the word "posers" instead because "its got a softer edge" which made us laugh. So we talked a bit about how even though we might at times see the "ugly truth" about people that we shouldn't make ultimate judgments about their worth or value.
At this point George brought our attention to Jesus saying about not casting pearls before swine. None of us knew much about hogs (or pearls for that matter) except someone said that where he grew up in PA the hog farms stank the worst of all the farms which made us laugh. George said that hogs can be very nasty and he told us of a saying popular in his hometown in MI, "I ain't had this much fun since the hogs ate my sister" which made us laugh even harder. George told us that he thought the point of the saying is that "you have to be careful about what you share with people" because you can get hurt by talking to the wrong people about certain things.
As the conversation progressed we talked a bit about how people won't want to talk with you about important things in their lives if you are a judgmental and critical person. George said that Jesus told his friends not to label and judge others because he wanted them to have deep relationships with people and they couldn't do that if they were critical and judgmental. At this George told us about sitting in a Panera Bread shop bawling like a baby after a friend asked him to talk about his mom since she had passed away recently. He said he must have seemed pathetic as he weeped in the middle of the restaurant and that he cried so much that "I almost got my sandwich wet" which made us laugh. George also said, "I've got enough skeletons in my closet to make a zombie army" which made us laugh even harder.
At this point we talked about how Jesus encouraged his friends to ask for what they needed and to trust thatGod would listen to their prayers and help them. Jesus asked his friends to imagine the irony of a child that asked a parent for bread and was given a stone instead. George said it would be like "if Donald asked for a donut and we gave him a bug instead." At the mention of his name Donald said loudly, "Belt, belt, belt" and although we weren't sure exactly what he meant it did make us laugh.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion one of our friends said that when Jesus told his friends to "ask" "seek" and "knock" that he was encouraging them to take effective action to change their lives. He said that instead of taking responsible action that at times "we just sit on our asses and don't do what we know we should" which is neither active nor effective. At this Donald shared a memory he had of his grandmother telling him when he was very little that he should always go to church and believe in God. He said that he always goes to church on Sunday and its "all about God" as he pointed in the direction of the church that he regularly attends. Our friend Donna said that as she listened she was thinking that if you "sow bad seed" that you would "reap a bad harvest."
9.22.2011
My Wife Thinks I'm Very Undependable
Carlos started the free store conversation on Wednesday morning by asking the group to pick sides in an imaginary arm wrestling contest between Paul (that's me the blog's author) and a new friend that joined us for the first time. Sheila picked me (who she affectionately calls her "boss" when she's not pissed at me) and Jack picked the other guy (for which he has been banished from the free store for an undetermined period of time or until we need him for something). Carlos then said that the person that had picked the winner would be right and that this was the primary meaning of the word righteous in the bible. It simply means to be right about something. Jack said he thought there was more to it but after a little back and forth we agreed to move forward with Carlos' definition.
With this background Carlos moved us into our continuing discussion of the book of Romans. He read a passage in Romans 4 that talked about how Abraham believed that God could fulfill his promises and that Abraham was right about it so the bible says that he is "righteous." At this Carlos asked us if there were things God had promised us? Someone said that God promised to give us eternal life. Joelle said that God promised never to leave us. And Sheila said that God had promised to always love us. Jack said he thought that was about all that we could possibly need. However, Joelle wasn't so sure if that was enough and suggested that things like health and security were important as well.
Carlos told us that God had promised to give Abraham children and yet when Abraham was 100 years old he still didn't have a child with his wife Sarah (and she was 90). So we thought it was pretty bold and maybe even a bit crazy and yet Abraham believed that God was right and could do what was promised. Carlos made us laugh when he said, "If you bet against God you're gonna lose."
At this point Carlos asked us how we were doing on our promises? He estimated that he kept his promises about 40% of the time. He told us that "my wife thinks I'm very undependable" which made us laugh. Joelle told us that we can really disappoint people when we don't follow through on our promises. She also said that she felt good about keeping her promise to help Sheila get ready to move to her new apartment next week. Jack said, "I don't promise unless I can fulfill it." We applauded our friends for following through on their promises.
As the discussion moved to a conclusion we talked about how we make and break promises all the time and might not even realize it. Rick said that people will often say, "I'll get back to you" when you know they have no intention of ever calling you again. Jack said that was because people are "superficially polite in the south" which made us laugh. Carlos encouraged us to recognize that ultimately God didn't bless Abraham because Abraham was good at keeping his promises but rather because God was good at keeping God's promises.
With this background Carlos moved us into our continuing discussion of the book of Romans. He read a passage in Romans 4 that talked about how Abraham believed that God could fulfill his promises and that Abraham was right about it so the bible says that he is "righteous." At this Carlos asked us if there were things God had promised us? Someone said that God promised to give us eternal life. Joelle said that God promised never to leave us. And Sheila said that God had promised to always love us. Jack said he thought that was about all that we could possibly need. However, Joelle wasn't so sure if that was enough and suggested that things like health and security were important as well.
Carlos told us that God had promised to give Abraham children and yet when Abraham was 100 years old he still didn't have a child with his wife Sarah (and she was 90). So we thought it was pretty bold and maybe even a bit crazy and yet Abraham believed that God was right and could do what was promised. Carlos made us laugh when he said, "If you bet against God you're gonna lose."
At this point Carlos asked us how we were doing on our promises? He estimated that he kept his promises about 40% of the time. He told us that "my wife thinks I'm very undependable" which made us laugh. Joelle told us that we can really disappoint people when we don't follow through on our promises. She also said that she felt good about keeping her promise to help Sheila get ready to move to her new apartment next week. Jack said, "I don't promise unless I can fulfill it." We applauded our friends for following through on their promises.
As the discussion moved to a conclusion we talked about how we make and break promises all the time and might not even realize it. Rick said that people will often say, "I'll get back to you" when you know they have no intention of ever calling you again. Jack said that was because people are "superficially polite in the south" which made us laugh. Carlos encouraged us to recognize that ultimately God didn't bless Abraham because Abraham was good at keeping his promises but rather because God was good at keeping God's promises.
9.21.2011
Hope in the Hearts of All People (written by Liz Eagle)
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.---- Ecclesiastes 3:9-14
We began our conversation at the Free Store today as we always do when going through the book of Ecclesiates: trying to figure out where we left off. We've been going at it for a few months when I lead and we kind of just get to where we get. I truly love this book because it shows the helplessness of mankind and the hope God gives, hardly changing the tone in between. Life is what it is. It may be shitty sometimes but God has a plan for it and we grow into stronger people in the long run, if we just hold on! (Not to reference any early 90's pop music or anything)
One thing I like about this group of people that sit around the table with me on Tuesday is the diversity. No, I do not mean in a skin-tone sort-of-way. I mean real diversity. We have all been in so many places. From being very wealthy and becomming homeless, to experiencing extreme love and loss, being imprisoned to being homeless, having homes but seeking to find fellowship... We truly come from all walks of life, both good and bad. We are on all spectrums. The book of Ecclesiates touches on just that. "For everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven."
We see in our friends with whom we share increasingly personal information that we have all experienced hardship. Similarly we have all experienced God's grace in the midst of it. There are days when we show up to the Free Store, just needing to vent about how we feel and where we've been. There are days we just need to silently listen. But the glory of it all is that we are evolving to a place where we can empathize with one another and see what the verses we studied speak of that "God has placed eternity in the hearts of all men", letting us know that there is a hope beyond what we see and a glory to be shared eventually.
Our friend Megan shared of her brother and sister-in-law hoping to be parents but being told they were unable, Joelle stating her similar situation and a gifted pregnancy 5 years ago, Donald expressing his hurt at the loss of a friend, George explaining the happiness of having amazing friends like Jack and Judy who have helped him tap into his God-given gifts of academia and art. Good and bad situations arise but we are blessed to have eternity to look for and friends with whom to travel on the journey there.
We began our conversation at the Free Store today as we always do when going through the book of Ecclesiates: trying to figure out where we left off. We've been going at it for a few months when I lead and we kind of just get to where we get. I truly love this book because it shows the helplessness of mankind and the hope God gives, hardly changing the tone in between. Life is what it is. It may be shitty sometimes but God has a plan for it and we grow into stronger people in the long run, if we just hold on! (Not to reference any early 90's pop music or anything)
One thing I like about this group of people that sit around the table with me on Tuesday is the diversity. No, I do not mean in a skin-tone sort-of-way. I mean real diversity. We have all been in so many places. From being very wealthy and becomming homeless, to experiencing extreme love and loss, being imprisoned to being homeless, having homes but seeking to find fellowship... We truly come from all walks of life, both good and bad. We are on all spectrums. The book of Ecclesiates touches on just that. "For everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven."
We see in our friends with whom we share increasingly personal information that we have all experienced hardship. Similarly we have all experienced God's grace in the midst of it. There are days when we show up to the Free Store, just needing to vent about how we feel and where we've been. There are days we just need to silently listen. But the glory of it all is that we are evolving to a place where we can empathize with one another and see what the verses we studied speak of that "God has placed eternity in the hearts of all men", letting us know that there is a hope beyond what we see and a glory to be shared eventually.
Our friend Megan shared of her brother and sister-in-law hoping to be parents but being told they were unable, Joelle stating her similar situation and a gifted pregnancy 5 years ago, Donald expressing his hurt at the loss of a friend, George explaining the happiness of having amazing friends like Jack and Judy who have helped him tap into his God-given gifts of academia and art. Good and bad situations arise but we are blessed to have eternity to look for and friends with whom to travel on the journey there.
9.20.2011
I Have Friends on Facebook But Would I Get Out of My Comfort Zone To Help Them
In our free store conversation on Friday morning we talked about Jesus parable in Luke 11, "Suppose One of You Has a Friend." The gist of the story is that a man goes to a friend's house at midnight and bangs on the door asking for three loaves of bread. The guy knocking on the door has a friend that has arrived on a journey and he doesn't have anything to feed his friend. The friend that is being asked for the three loaves basically says "Don't bother me" and gives a number of very good reasons that he can't help. Ultimately the guy does get out of bed and give his friend what he wants but not because of friendship but because of his friend's "importunity," "persistence" or "shamelessness."
We started the conversation by noting how inconvenient friendship can be at times. Our friend Robert made us laugh when he shared how his wife is a very social person and likes to go out with friends a lot but he wonders, "Are they really friends or just acquaintances?" He also said, "I have friends on Facebook but would I get out of my comfort zone to help them?" At this our friend Jack said that there is "situational friendship" as well as "degrees of friendship." He also said that he has been married to his wife Julie for 45 years but they don't always do everything the other person wants. One thing we all seemed to identify with was the idea that real friendship often goes beyond what is comfortable for us.
Someone thought it was unusual that a guy would knock on a friend's door at midnight asking for bread. We laughed when someone said that the convenience store must have been closed. Someone made the point that it seemed like in Jesus' time people were more dependent on each other for what they needed and there was more of a sense of community than we have today.
We talked a bit about why the guy that was being asked for three loaves of bread ultimately gave it to his untimely friend. One translation said that he did it because of his "importunity" but no one knew what that meant which made us laugh. Another translation said it was because of his "persistence" and someone else had a translation that said it was because of his "shamelessness." However, every translation we had agreed that the guy didn't do it out of friendship. So we thought that maybe the guy just knocked on the door and made a nuisance out of himself until his comfy friend inside was forced to give him what he wanted to shut him up and get rid of him. We also talked about how the guy asking for bread at midnight was certainly willing to act "shamelessly" on behalf of a friend that had a need he couldn't personally meet out of his own resources.
In bringing the discussion to a close we talked about how many times the needs of our friends will exceed our own resources to help. But does this mean we should do nothing at all? Or is it possible that we might begin thinking about acting "shamelessly" on behalf of our friends that need what we can't personally provide and be willing to "beg" our friends that do have resources to help. Someone also brought up that Jesus told this story after his friends asked him to teach them how to pray. We laughed when Robert said that if the first guy had three loaves of bread he wouldn't have needed to ask his friend for anything and maybe we shouldn't even think about praying until we have nothing left to give.
We started the conversation by noting how inconvenient friendship can be at times. Our friend Robert made us laugh when he shared how his wife is a very social person and likes to go out with friends a lot but he wonders, "Are they really friends or just acquaintances?" He also said, "I have friends on Facebook but would I get out of my comfort zone to help them?" At this our friend Jack said that there is "situational friendship" as well as "degrees of friendship." He also said that he has been married to his wife Julie for 45 years but they don't always do everything the other person wants. One thing we all seemed to identify with was the idea that real friendship often goes beyond what is comfortable for us.
Someone thought it was unusual that a guy would knock on a friend's door at midnight asking for bread. We laughed when someone said that the convenience store must have been closed. Someone made the point that it seemed like in Jesus' time people were more dependent on each other for what they needed and there was more of a sense of community than we have today.
We talked a bit about why the guy that was being asked for three loaves of bread ultimately gave it to his untimely friend. One translation said that he did it because of his "importunity" but no one knew what that meant which made us laugh. Another translation said it was because of his "persistence" and someone else had a translation that said it was because of his "shamelessness." However, every translation we had agreed that the guy didn't do it out of friendship. So we thought that maybe the guy just knocked on the door and made a nuisance out of himself until his comfy friend inside was forced to give him what he wanted to shut him up and get rid of him. We also talked about how the guy asking for bread at midnight was certainly willing to act "shamelessly" on behalf of a friend that had a need he couldn't personally meet out of his own resources.
In bringing the discussion to a close we talked about how many times the needs of our friends will exceed our own resources to help. But does this mean we should do nothing at all? Or is it possible that we might begin thinking about acting "shamelessly" on behalf of our friends that need what we can't personally provide and be willing to "beg" our friends that do have resources to help. Someone also brought up that Jesus told this story after his friends asked him to teach them how to pray. We laughed when Robert said that if the first guy had three loaves of bread he wouldn't have needed to ask his friend for anything and maybe we shouldn't even think about praying until we have nothing left to give.
9.17.2011
Even Jeffrey Dahmer Looked Nice on the Outside
George Dunn joined us for our Thursday morning free store conversation and as usual was Mr. Popularity owing in part to the Krispy Kreme donuts he brought with him. George told us that he had been on a diet recently and had lost about 20 pounds which we thought was great. He said that a friend of his that has recently lost about 50 pounds said something that helped him, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" which made us laugh.
George started the conversation by reading out of Matthew 7 where Jesus says, "Judge not that you be not judged." We talked a bit about how it is normal to make distinctions and to discern between things but that this was different than judging and condemning people in a negative way. George told us about some research that had been done showing that kids often develop self-image problems in grade school because of the system of grading that is used to evaluate them. He said that kids that don't do well on tests and that get lower grades start to think they are dumb which is often reinforced by teachers, parents, and other kids. This is really tragic because test measures really only evaluate one kind of intelligence.
George told us that he thought Jesus was really saying in effect, "Don't label people, and don't condemn people based on your own limited understanding." He gave us a good laugh when he said that even Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbor thought that he was a nice young man based on his external appearance while taking out the trash even though we now know what was in those garbage bags. We laughed even harder when we saw the look on Rick's face as he bit into one of those Krispy creme-filled donuts as George said this.
After getting the group re-focused after the comedy central interlude George went on to say that life isn't about keeping the rules and looking good on the exterior. He said that religion that says "do this, do that" is just a bunch of doo doo which made us laugh. He said that it is tragic if you call yourself a christian and yet don't care about the poor. He said this would be like a 5' 2" basketball player that can't jump thinking he was a real athlete.
Instead of labeling and condemning each other George suggested that we be kind and compassionate. He told us with tears in his eyes about losing both parents in the last two months and how much it meant to him when a friend took him to lunch and said simply, "tell me about your mom." At this someone told us about the time that one of our homeless friends that is an artist found a box of paint brushes and paint colors in the free store and how meaningful that had been to him. The guy actually thought we had bought them for him because he had just been telling us the week before how much he needed these supplies. Someone else told us about a saying he had heard years ago and remembered, "You should do something every day to make other people happy. Even if it's just to leave them alone" which made us laugh.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion George shared with us a quote from Mother Teresa, "It's not the size of the deed, but the size of the love."
George started the conversation by reading out of Matthew 7 where Jesus says, "Judge not that you be not judged." We talked a bit about how it is normal to make distinctions and to discern between things but that this was different than judging and condemning people in a negative way. George told us about some research that had been done showing that kids often develop self-image problems in grade school because of the system of grading that is used to evaluate them. He said that kids that don't do well on tests and that get lower grades start to think they are dumb which is often reinforced by teachers, parents, and other kids. This is really tragic because test measures really only evaluate one kind of intelligence.
George told us that he thought Jesus was really saying in effect, "Don't label people, and don't condemn people based on your own limited understanding." He gave us a good laugh when he said that even Jeffrey Dahmer's neighbor thought that he was a nice young man based on his external appearance while taking out the trash even though we now know what was in those garbage bags. We laughed even harder when we saw the look on Rick's face as he bit into one of those Krispy creme-filled donuts as George said this.
After getting the group re-focused after the comedy central interlude George went on to say that life isn't about keeping the rules and looking good on the exterior. He said that religion that says "do this, do that" is just a bunch of doo doo which made us laugh. He said that it is tragic if you call yourself a christian and yet don't care about the poor. He said this would be like a 5' 2" basketball player that can't jump thinking he was a real athlete.
Instead of labeling and condemning each other George suggested that we be kind and compassionate. He told us with tears in his eyes about losing both parents in the last two months and how much it meant to him when a friend took him to lunch and said simply, "tell me about your mom." At this someone told us about the time that one of our homeless friends that is an artist found a box of paint brushes and paint colors in the free store and how meaningful that had been to him. The guy actually thought we had bought them for him because he had just been telling us the week before how much he needed these supplies. Someone else told us about a saying he had heard years ago and remembered, "You should do something every day to make other people happy. Even if it's just to leave them alone" which made us laugh.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion George shared with us a quote from Mother Teresa, "It's not the size of the deed, but the size of the love."
9.16.2011
Maybe He Got Some Smackdown
In our Free Store conversation on Wednesday morning we talked about Jesus parable, "A Man Had Two Sons." In the story in Matthew 21 the man goes to the first son and says, "Son, go and work in the vineyard today." The boys flatly says no I won't do it but then when the father leaves and after thinking about it he changes his mind and goes. In the interim the man goes to his second son with the same question. This son very politely says "Yes, sir" but never goes. Jesus then asks the question, "Which son did the will of the father?"
We started off by noticing that Jesus introduced this story by asking the question, "What do you think?" We talked a bit about how important it is to think for ourselves and how a really good teacher will give us a lot to think about and not just tell us what to think. Someone said that since the mind is the command center of the body it is important that the mind be sharp and strong so that we can manage our emotions and instincts without being led too far astray.
We also thought it was interesting that so many of Jesus stories are about common people and ordinary things. A simple story about a man and his children is something that all of us can identify with at some level. We talked about how Jesus stories always start with things we know in order to teach us about things we don't know. How impossible would it be to learn calculus if you hadn't already studied addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division?
At this point we talked about the different responses of the two sons. The first boy flatly said no to his father but then changed his mind and went to work. We laughed when someone said that some people just don't like authority and will resist it no matter what they are told to do. Someone said that the story doesn't say why the boy changed his mind. Sheila said, "maybe he got some smackdown" which gave us all a good laugh. We also talked about the other son that was very polite and respectful and seemed very obedient on the surface but didn't do what his father wanted in the end. The story doesn't say why he didn't go to work even though he said he would. We laughed when someone suggested maybe the boy "forgot" which is an excuse that his son will use at times.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion we looked at Jesus application of the story. Basically Jesus said the two sons represented two kinds of responses to God. The first son represents those like "the tax collectors and prostitutes" that initially resist the will of God but then change their minds and do it. The other group appear to be very respectful and obedient to God but it's all just appearance and talk. They talk the religious talk but don't do the will of God any more than the "irreligious" and "immoral" people that they look down on.
It was encouraging to think that even though we might resist doing what God wants that we can always change our minds and join in the adventure of the kingdom of God.
We started off by noticing that Jesus introduced this story by asking the question, "What do you think?" We talked a bit about how important it is to think for ourselves and how a really good teacher will give us a lot to think about and not just tell us what to think. Someone said that since the mind is the command center of the body it is important that the mind be sharp and strong so that we can manage our emotions and instincts without being led too far astray.
We also thought it was interesting that so many of Jesus stories are about common people and ordinary things. A simple story about a man and his children is something that all of us can identify with at some level. We talked about how Jesus stories always start with things we know in order to teach us about things we don't know. How impossible would it be to learn calculus if you hadn't already studied addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division?
At this point we talked about the different responses of the two sons. The first boy flatly said no to his father but then changed his mind and went to work. We laughed when someone said that some people just don't like authority and will resist it no matter what they are told to do. Someone said that the story doesn't say why the boy changed his mind. Sheila said, "maybe he got some smackdown" which gave us all a good laugh. We also talked about the other son that was very polite and respectful and seemed very obedient on the surface but didn't do what his father wanted in the end. The story doesn't say why he didn't go to work even though he said he would. We laughed when someone suggested maybe the boy "forgot" which is an excuse that his son will use at times.
As the conversation moved to a conclusion we looked at Jesus application of the story. Basically Jesus said the two sons represented two kinds of responses to God. The first son represents those like "the tax collectors and prostitutes" that initially resist the will of God but then change their minds and do it. The other group appear to be very respectful and obedient to God but it's all just appearance and talk. They talk the religious talk but don't do the will of God any more than the "irreligious" and "immoral" people that they look down on.
It was encouraging to think that even though we might resist doing what God wants that we can always change our minds and join in the adventure of the kingdom of God.
9.15.2011
You Don't Have a Heaven or a Hell to Put Them In
Our friend George Dunn joined us for the Free Store conversation on Thursday morning a number of weeks ago and told us that "help is not a four letter word." He said it was not like some of the words he had used (like jerk) on his drive to the store this morning which made us laugh. George said that the reason we don't get help is because we don't ask for help. He said that we all need help at some point because we can't always do it on our own. George said that one of the things he loved about the bible is that it tells us that God is there to help us.
George told us that religion is often performance based but that spirituality is about connection with God. He said that God is our father whether we are good kids or not. He told us that he and his wife have adopted children but that you wouldn't know it from the color or their skin or their behavior. At this someone said, "I have learned a couple things over the years. One is that there are no perfect people. And the other is that there are no worthless people. The distinctions people make are mostly bullshit." This seemed to encourage the group and George Hunt added, "You can also beat your own self up." He told us that he used to feel bad about himself for "being shy" but he was finding that he liked to talk with people more and more. He went on to say "I'm coming out" which made us laugh.
At this point George Dunn told us about a conversation he had earlier in the morning with a very religious young man that had been to seminary and was interested in ministry. The young man said, "I've come to the conclusion that life is really about being loved and loving others. The rest just isn't important." George then asked the question, "How can you be loving if you don't feel loved?" He said that you can't really fake something that imporant. He went on to say that life is not really about keeping the rules or even about what we believe. We laughed when he suggested that maybe every time we keep the rules we should get a smily face sticker on the forehead and every time we break the rules we should get a frowny face. Someone said that our group might have a lot of frowny stickers which made us laugh.
We talked a bit about how religion will often use fear as a mechanism of control. Someone brought up how ironic it is that we can be so afraid of things that don't even exist. He said that the movie Creature From the Black Lagoon had frightened him as a child and made it hard for him to swim in the river. Someone else mentioned the fear activated when he watched the movie Night of the Living Dead. George Dunn told us about his vivid fears as a child of being fried in a pan like a piece of bacon in eternal hell. We laughed as George demonstrated what a human piece of bacon would look like in a divine skillet. He said that the teaching about eternal hell is very frightening and most likely not even true. At this our friend Janice told us something that she remembers her mom saying to her father one time. She said that her dad said something negative about somebody and her mom replied, "Who are you to judge? You don't have a heaven or hell to put them in" which made us laugh.
As our conversation moved toward a close our friend Donald jumped in and said, "Dave used to talk to me when I came to the free store and ask me why I was wearin hot clothes. He taught me a lesson. I miss him." Although we weren't exactly sure how this fit in we all agreed with Donald that Big Dave had touched our lives and we missed him as well. Our new friend Curtis said, "I came over to pray at 24/7 this morning but they weren't open. It's been a rough morning for me. I was feelin bad. I cried and cried and cried. I spoke with my family in VA and felt even worse." He said that sometimes "you can be so bundled up you just can't let it out."
George told us that religion is often performance based but that spirituality is about connection with God. He said that God is our father whether we are good kids or not. He told us that he and his wife have adopted children but that you wouldn't know it from the color or their skin or their behavior. At this someone said, "I have learned a couple things over the years. One is that there are no perfect people. And the other is that there are no worthless people. The distinctions people make are mostly bullshit." This seemed to encourage the group and George Hunt added, "You can also beat your own self up." He told us that he used to feel bad about himself for "being shy" but he was finding that he liked to talk with people more and more. He went on to say "I'm coming out" which made us laugh.
At this point George Dunn told us about a conversation he had earlier in the morning with a very religious young man that had been to seminary and was interested in ministry. The young man said, "I've come to the conclusion that life is really about being loved and loving others. The rest just isn't important." George then asked the question, "How can you be loving if you don't feel loved?" He said that you can't really fake something that imporant. He went on to say that life is not really about keeping the rules or even about what we believe. We laughed when he suggested that maybe every time we keep the rules we should get a smily face sticker on the forehead and every time we break the rules we should get a frowny face. Someone said that our group might have a lot of frowny stickers which made us laugh.
We talked a bit about how religion will often use fear as a mechanism of control. Someone brought up how ironic it is that we can be so afraid of things that don't even exist. He said that the movie Creature From the Black Lagoon had frightened him as a child and made it hard for him to swim in the river. Someone else mentioned the fear activated when he watched the movie Night of the Living Dead. George Dunn told us about his vivid fears as a child of being fried in a pan like a piece of bacon in eternal hell. We laughed as George demonstrated what a human piece of bacon would look like in a divine skillet. He said that the teaching about eternal hell is very frightening and most likely not even true. At this our friend Janice told us something that she remembers her mom saying to her father one time. She said that her dad said something negative about somebody and her mom replied, "Who are you to judge? You don't have a heaven or hell to put them in" which made us laugh.
As our conversation moved toward a close our friend Donald jumped in and said, "Dave used to talk to me when I came to the free store and ask me why I was wearin hot clothes. He taught me a lesson. I miss him." Although we weren't exactly sure how this fit in we all agreed with Donald that Big Dave had touched our lives and we missed him as well. Our new friend Curtis said, "I came over to pray at 24/7 this morning but they weren't open. It's been a rough morning for me. I was feelin bad. I cried and cried and cried. I spoke with my family in VA and felt even worse." He said that sometimes "you can be so bundled up you just can't let it out."
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