That Beat on My Brain for a Long Time

In our Free Store conversation on Wednesday morning we talked about the importance of positive thinking as a way to deal with the strong negative emotions that can easily overwhelm us.  The question came up as to how we can renew our minds in a positive way even though our circumstances might be very negative.  We talked about how bad things can get us down and that we tend to internalize our outward circumstances.  Mark said that when you are homeless and have no job that the big picture can be overwhelming.  He said that he has to focus on the small things that he can do to improve his circumstances.

As we talked about the importance of caring for our minds Sheila said that by doing things like taking a walk, or a nice hot bath (which she won't do because she never thinks the tub is clean enough which we thought was funny), or calling and talking to a friend we can improve our attitude.  George said that he liked to watch cartoons and movies like "All Dogs Go To Heaven" because they made him laugh.  He said it was hard at times because his mom died with cancer at forty-nine and didn't even remember him "her 30 cent, her baby boy" at the end.  He said he liked to take bike rides and just get away from the house at times.

Mark said that in trying to keep a positive attitude it was important to stay away from negative people.  He said that in the drug rehabilitation program called Rebound he found it hard to deal with all the negative talk.  He also told us about a guy that used to come to work and just bitch all morning so that by noon everybody was in a foul mood which made us laugh.  Rick said that it's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys which kept us laughing.

At this point Mark said that the negative was stronger than the positive.  So we talked about how the negative is only stronger because we give negative thoughts and negative energy power over us by habitually thinking in a negative way.  Someone said that is why it was important to establish positive thought patterns that would help us fight off all that negative energy.  We all agreed that it takes a strong person not to access the negative spirit of others.

We talked about how negative experiences that we have as children can be very devastating because we are so vulnerable at that stage in our lives.  Mark told us that his family wasn't happy unless there was chaos.  He also said that when he was diagnosed with cancer and called his father he was told, "there is nothing I can do for you" and then his dad hung up.  He also told us that his brother told him at one point that "you are not part of our family anymore."  He said "that beat on my brain for a long time."  He said that you can get so depressed that you don't even care what you look like anymore.  It was very sobering to realize the negative things that our friends have to deal with.  But it also helped us see the importance of taking responsibility to keep ourselves positive even though we may not have much positive external affirmation from others.

We talked about how exercise is a good way to help us maintain a positive attitude because it releases natural chemicals called endorphins that make us feel good.  Someone said that these endorphins were also released by taking drugs which was easier than exercise which made us laugh.

As our discussion moved to a conclusion George told us that he was called a slow poke when he was a kid because he was a slow reader and moved slow.  He said this really hurt his feelings and made him feel bad about himself and he thought this is why he became a problem child and ultimately ended up in prison for five years.  He told us that he got a little stronger when he got out of prison though.  He said that a couple of years ago he felt that his life was going round and round in circles without going anywhere.  But since making new friends he had "kind of turned my life around."  This seemed to us like a good place to end a conversation about the importance of positive thinking.