Good Days, Bad Days, and Good Fridays

In our Free Store conversation Friday morning we talked about the meaning of the Good Friday holiday.  Interesting name for a day that we decided wasn't very good at all for the man that is being remembered on it.  We talked about how it was in reality the worst day of Jesus' life because it was the day that ended in his cruel death at the hands of his enemies.  Someone brought up how the day our friend Dave died a few weeks ago was a bad day.  And we all agreed that life is full of many bad days.  Someone said that you had better have your camera ready for the good days so that you can capture those fleeting happy moments.

Somehow the conversation turned toward the choices that we make.  Someone said that most people don't have a lot of control on how much money they make but that we always have the power to choose how we spend it.  We talked about how people can make good choices even though they don't have a lot of money.  It was empowering to realize that even though we might not have much we always have the power to make positive choices for our own lives.

Since it is Anticonsumerism April at the Free Store we started talking about the different ways that we can spend our money.  Since it is Good Friday we talked a bit about Judas, the man that betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver which was the going price of a slave in those days.  Someone said that God made us free but that human beings made slavery.  We talked about some of the bad things that people will do for money.  Somebody said that every time we use somebody for our own advantage that is a form of human trafficking.  It made us sad to think about all the ways that we can value stuff over people.

At this point someone brought up another character in the gospel story that gives us an alternative to Judas.  This character was a woman that bought a ridiculously expensive perfume and poured it on Jesus as an expression of her love for her friend.  We calculated that based on current minimum wage this perfume must have cost over $15,000 a bottle which is a lot of money to spend on someone.  The question came up about the best gifts we had ever received.  Sheila said a beautiful flower.  George said a portable DVD player and birthday party at the free store on his 50th birtday.

As we do so often in our conversations we talked about how the best and most important things in life are free.  There is a saying famous in NASCAR country (for those not from around these parts that stands for National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing--pronounced racin) "Gentlemen, start your engines."  We laughed a bit as we realized that none of us has to start our own engine because life is something that we have within us without even having to think about it.

Our friend Linda, who does not hide the fact that she has engaged in prostitution, said that you can't buy love.  Someone else said that the air we breath was free.  We got to laughing about the fact that it probably wouldn't be if someone could figure out how to control it.  And then someone said that if you need oxygen in the hospital it is actually very expensive.  Mark mentioned that medical services might be so expensive because of all the marble used in the construction of these elaborate hospital buildings.

In moving our discussion to a conclusion we encouraged one another to spend our resources on the people that matter in our lives.  All of our stuff will pass away with use but the people we love have eternal potential.

Did You Have a Homeowner's Policy on That Tent?

George Dunn started our Free Store conversation on Thursday morning by saying that Christianity is not about words but about healing power.  He said that it seemed strange that so much of Jesus mininstry involved healing people and yet we see so little of it in the church today.  And that the healing that does take place is so expensive that many people can't afford it.

For some reason our discussion took a bit of a raucous turn at this point.  It came up that our friends Danielle and Mickey had their tent vandalized during the night.  Someone asked them if they had a homeowner's policy on it, which didn't seem like an entirely appropriate question, but it made us all laugh.  So we had some fun with the idea of insuring tents for homeless people.

Somehow the conversation turned to redneck jokes.  Our friend Rick asked us what were the last words of a redneck to which he said, "Hey y'all watch this!"  Curtis asked us if we knew how to entertain a redneck and said, "with a beer and a bug zapper."  I told the group about putting duct tape on my son Jon's backpack so that he could still use it and he told me, "I'm a redneck now dad."  At this point our friend John said, "Welcome to comedy central this morning" which helped us to realize that we had strayed a great way from our subject.

So back to the conversation about healing power.  Someone suggested that healing takes place all the time.  Every time we recover from a common cold it is because of the amazing healing mechanisms of the human immune system.  George told us about synthetic organic chemistry that studies the healing power of plants in order to promote natural remedies for health problems.

Our new friend Robert told us about going to the emergency room and being charged $160 for a bandaid and ointment.  He was told that "it will heal itself."   I told the group about my daughter Val's trip to the emergency room for a broken finger.  After receiving the hospital bill I told them that the pain had migrated from her finger to my wallet.  These stories made us laugh but they also made us question why we are so willing to pay so much money on doctors and drugs when the real healing power is in the body itself.

At this point George brought up that Jesus performed many of his miracles on the Sabbath.  He said that Jesus did this to piss off (which is not in the original Greek but should be!) the religious establishment since that was their holy day of rest which they had come to elevate about the needs of people.  Curtis said they didn't like Jesus because they were jealous that he knew more about their religion than they did, the supposed experts in the law.

As we moved the conversation to a close we talked about how unconventional and unpredictable Jesus could be.  George said that Jesus showed us a different kind of leadership than the typical "Simon says" type of game that is played.  We learn as children that you have to do exactly as simon says or you are out and most leaders want us to play by those rules.  George told us that at an earlier point in his life he had the attitude, "kill a communist for christ and two on sunday" until he realized that Jesus said love your enemies.  He said that this seriously messed up his former values.  Our friend John said that "nobody said the word would be easy" which left us all with a lot to think about.

I Like To Go For My Dreams

Our friend Carlos joined us on Wednesday morning and continued leading us through the book of Galatians.  It's sort of a Galatians for dummies approach but we have found the discussions interesting and they always leave us with a lot to think about.

Carlos started out with a bit of a review telling us that we are really talking about is a system of rules that are designed for children.  However, as we become adults we should be intrinsically motivated and not need this system of dont's with its limitations and prohibitions.  The question was asked, "What are you gonna do and create in your life?"  Shay asked us to think about what we are good at.  And Cheronne said that we should think about what our passion is.  He then said, "I like to go for my dreams."  He told us that God puts desire in our hearts and inspires us to do great things with it.  This was a very encouraging message from our young friend.

Carlos explained that there are two false options in life.  One is to follow the don't system with all its rules and prohibitions.  Shay thought that way of living would be boring.  And George said that a person that lived that way would be lazy.  The other way is to completely reject this law and fear-based system and think to ourselves, "I can do whatever the fuck I want."  Although we smiled at this we recognized that such anarchistic thinking may not lead to the best way of life either.  Carlos suggested that the third choice was to be open to the Spirit of God which gives us the freedom to do and to create.

One of our new young friends said that when you try to follow your dreams and be creative that people will try to mess with you.  Many heads were nodding in agreement as someone said that negative people will often tell us that we can't do what we really want to do.  Carlos said that by focusing on what we can't do that we don't ourselves to death which made us laugh.

In closing our conversation the questions were asked, "What good thing do you want to do today?"  And, "What is your dream?"  Curtis said that he wanted to stay healthy and develop positive friendships.  That sounded like a great idea to us and we encouraged him to do it and told him that from what we knew about him that he definitely had the ability to make it happen.

Quid Pro Quos and Stubborn Trust

In our Free Store conversation on Tuesday morning we talked about two of the great characters in the Bible: Jacob and Job.  We like to say that characters are welcome around here and we love the wonderfully diverse group of friends that form our community.

We started by talking about Jacob and how his name means "heel-grabber."  We considered how our names can shape us and how unfortunate it is to be labelled in such a negative way.  Someone mentioned an old Johnny Cash song about a "Boy Named Sue" which made us laugh.  As we continued our discussion we focused on the part of the story in Jacob's life where he was running for his life from his brother Esau.  In the story Jacob basically says that "if" God will protect him and give him food and shelter that "then" he would serve God.  We all agreed that this was a very common way to relate to each other and to God.  If you scratch my back I'll scratch  yours is a pretty nice arrangement after all.  We talked a bit about how relationships of mutual support and concern are vital to our well-being.

At this point one of our friends told us about a family member that told her he wished a certain person would die.  And although she could sympathize with the feeling she encouraged him to be more accepting of the other person even though that person could be very nasty and hurtful.  This story sort of emphasized how the you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours approach to relationships has its limits.  Someone said that it gives the other person too much power.  Since we will only treat people like they treat us we are simply responding to others.  This means that we become reactive rather than proactive in our relationships.  We agreed that it is not good to give others that much power over our lives.  Another friend said it was important to love others even if they didn't love us back but that doesn't mean we have to like them which made us laugh.

This led us to talk about Job who is another of the great characters in the bible.  We talked about how Job pretty much lost everything he had, including all of his children.  Someone said that Job was a bit of a whiner but that he actually had a lot to whine about.  But rather than give up on God because of all the crap in his life Job stubbornly kept trusting in spite of the negative cirumstances.  This led a few of our friends to talk about some of the challenges they were facing in their lives that required a subborn faith.  We agreed that it is relatively easy to trust God when things are good but that when things go bad it is difficult.  Joelle said that is when we start asking, "Why me?"

One of our new friends shared how she was in danger of losing her house and that she was feeling very fearful about this.  But that she was glad she had joined us because it helped her to get out and be around other people rather than sitting around whining about her circumstances.  Our friend Terrence told us how nice it was to be involved in a service over the weekend in which his 9 year old son was recognized for some good things.  Our friend Marney talked about having a good morning with her teenage son in spite of some of the challenges they are facing and that he was beginning to realize the importance of cooperating with her.

As our conversation came to a conlusion we felt encouraged that we could continue to learn better ways to relate to God and to one another.

I've Never Seen A U-Haul Following a Hearse

In our Free Store conversation on Friday morning we continued our month long exploration of issues of wealth and poverty.  Our tagline for the month is "Stop Buying Shit and Shop at the Free Store."  We are having some fun with the whole Anti-consumerism April thing as well as some growing pains as many of us are discovering how deep rooted is this insatiable impulse to buy stuff.

We started the conversation by talking about no matter how much we have it is never enough.  Our reach always seems to exceed our grasp when it comes to money.  We looked at a text in Ecclesiastes that says that if you love money you will never have enough of it and that if you love wealth you will never be satisfied with your income.  Sheila said that even though you need money it doesn't make you happy.

Someone brought up the TV show Buried Alive that goes inside the homes of extreme hoarders to explore the psychology of it.  This made us smile as we talked about how attached we become to things and how such attachments aren't always healthy.  We become so attached to our things because we start to view them as an extention of ourselves.  This is why we feel violated when someone steals something of ours.  But this is why it can actually be liberating to lose things because it can free us from our attachment to stuff that can't make us happy and doesn't define who we are.  Having more stuff doesn't make us more of a person and having less stuff doesn't diminsh who we are.  At this point our friend Larry walked into the room and gave Sheila a rose that he had cut from one of the bushes at the warehouse.  We all thought that was a very sweet gesture and Sheila was very pleased with it.

Someone brought up how someone might stay in a marriage with a person they don't really love just for the money.  Sheila got us laughing when she talked about meeting her husband Dave.  At the time he was homeless and only had a couple pairs of pants and a couple shirts but she saw his heart and loved him, and the rest, as they say, is history.

We talked about how being rich might seem like the solution to all our troubles but we decided that is not a realistic way of thinking.  Someone said that the more you have the more you have to lose which gives you more to worry about.  We talked about how you could have a very high paying job and yet still be miserable because you don't like what you do at work.  Mark said that if you don't like your job you have a lot of time to be miserable.  For some reason this led us to talk about our favorite jobs.  Rick said his favorite job was as head teller at a bank.  George said that he liked working at a factory that made steel doors even though he was having issues at home with his wife at the time.  Sheila said her favorite job was working for AT & T.  Mark said that he enjoyed doing home renovations and he told us about a friend that used to tell him to find work that he enjoyed and that the money would follow.  Interestingly Mark got a phone call during our discussion and later told us that he was hired to start working on Monday morning for which he was very happy.

We talked about how we bring nothing with us into the world and that we take nothing with us when we depart, naked we come and naked we go as it says in the good book.  Sheila made us laugh when she asked why it was so important to wear clothes all the time.  We talked about how the Egyptian King's used to have their stuff buried with them but that when the archaelogists dig up their tombs up the stuff is still there.  We laughed a bit imagining how disappointed they must be when they arrive at their destination without their extensive luggage!  Mark told us that his grandmother used to tell him, "I've never seen a U-Haul following a hearse."

As our conversation moved toward a conclusion we looked at another text in Ecclesiastes that says, "it is good for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot."  Someone mentioned a scene in the movie Antz in which the ant character voiced by Woody Allen says, "It's my lot in life, it's not a lot but it's my life."  It really is a gift to find enjoyment in our lives and our work and not worry so much about the money.

The Pirate's Code and the Ten Suggestions

In our Thursday morning Free Store conversation George Dunn joined us as he normally does.  George always brings at least a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and we have noticed that our friends have started coming early on Thursdays which we think might be related in some strange mystical way to the donuts but we're not certain.

George started the discussion, well we call it a discussion even though George can be a bit preachy but at least he is lively and entertaining and he lets us interrupt him.  He told us that he wanted to talk about the ten suggestions which were found in the biblical book of Exodus.  This brought a smile to our faces and someone made a reference to the movie Pirates of the Carribean and the Pirate's Code which was actually more like guidelines than a strict code.

This thing about rules and laws comes up quite a bit in our discussions so apparently as a group we must have some issues with authority.  But as many of us have discovered these mechanisms of control do as much, if not more, to keep us down as they do to keep us straight.  Our friend Marney talked about how it was possible to get so focused on the rules that we could lose sight of what they were all about.  So although we understand the necessity of rules and laws we think there is a better way to live, a way that encourages creativity and promotes mature and loving relationships.

So back to the ten suggestions George told us that God gave them through Moses, which is really not that many when you think about it, but that then the lawyers went to work and before long there were way more rules than anyone could possibly keep track of, no less keep them all.  George was quick to point out that we like lawyers, especially as our good friend Robert is an attorney and also a supporter of the free store which made us all laugh.  Not long after this Robert walked in on our discussion so he must have sensed we were talking about him.  He told me later that he likes to join us when he can to feel alive before he goes to work and starts dying.

As our conversation proceeded we started talking about how all rules are subject to personal interpretation.  I then told the group how my son Jon apparently has a different interpretation of the word clean than his mother and I do when it comes to cleaning his room.  George mentioned how every law, even the divine laws, can be interpreted in different ways and used the example of the fourth commandment and whether it refers to Saturday or Sunday, which religious people have argued about for centuries.  On a positive note Marney then told us about how pleased she was that recently she was able to enter into an agreement with her eighteen year old son that she felt was real progress in their relationship.

Sheila told us that she was having a hard time dealing with the death of her husband Dave recently but that she was doing what she had to do.  She told us about a friend that had encouraged her "to get off your ass and get to work" and how that had actually helped her which made us smile.  She said that she hoped Dave was in heaven and we all encouraged her to keep hoping because if it is true that God is love then there is hope for all of us beyond the cold grave.  George encouraged us to read Rob Bell whose name rhymes with "go to hell" but whose message is the opposite of that bad news.

As we wrapped the conversation up George talked about following our own conscience and not imposing our personal rules on others.  He talked about some of his vegan friends that are just horrified at his unapologetic carnivorous diet which made us laugh.  He encouraged us with the idea that God relates to us as individuals and to give each other the same freedom that has been so generously given to us.

Do I LOVE you or do I love YOU?

In our free store conversation on Wednesday morning Carlos started us off by asking us to think about where the emphasis is placed when we say, "I love you."  Is it I LOVE you?  Or is it I love YOU?  Do we love because that is just something that we do?  Or do we love because of some quality in the person that we are loving?  He told us to keep that distinction in mind as we continued our study in the book of Galatians.

We jumped into the conversation by talking about Abraham's two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, and his two wives, Sarah and Hagar.  We joked a bit about what it might be like to have two wives or two husbands but in general nobody thought that would work out very well.  Carlos basically told us that Abraham's two wives represent two different ways of relating to God.  The one way is governed by rules.  We have come to refer to this as the "don't system."  But what we have been discovering is that the "don't system" just "don't" get us right with God.  Someone said that when we are always taught "don't" that we come to think that we "can't" and so we don't.  That whole system is completely self-defeating and many of us have come to see it is also a dead end street.

Carlos told us about being required to take a driver's education class as a result of some traffic violations.  He didn't say exactly what they were and we missed our chance to ask him and tease him about it.  But he said that a guy in the class asked the training officer about how much you could travel over the speed limit before getting a ticket.  The officer explained to the man that it was called speed "limit" for a reason and that you could be ticketed no matter how fast you were going over that limit.  This made us laugh as we realized that the law points out our limits rather than stretching us to develop our potential.

Our friend Carolyn told us later in the day, when she stopped by for a visit, that she had been at the courthouse and had left her car parked on the street too long and got a ticket.  When she came out and saw the officer writing the ticket she said "I've never gotten a ticket before, can you take it back."  The officer said, "No.  You have to keep it."  That story gave us a great deal of pleasure as it showed us even more clearly the function of the law to limit us rather than to further our development.

So we were glad when Carlos pointed out that there is another way of living that is an alternative to the don't system with its rules and limits.  This is the way of love and creativity and freedom. It puts us on a path of growth that leads us to become mature and responsible human beings.  This way of life frees us to do things that seemed impossible under the don't system that pounded the can't into our brains.  Carlos told us that we can live by love and that we could do it today.


As our discussion moved to a conculsion one of our friends talked about a neighbor that she had helped but the woman was now treating her unkindly.  Carlos said that sometimes when we love people they may think that we are trying to manipulate or take advantage of them in some way because they are not used to being loved in the right way.  Sheila told us about experiences she has had in helping some of her homeless friends and then being taken advantage of.  However, she said that she was going to keep loving them anyway because she remembered how hard it was to be on the street.  She talked about how we don't always know how difficult another person's life may be and that we shouldn't love people just because of what we can get out of them.

That seemed like real wisdom and it also brought our conversation full circle back to where we started.  Do I LOVE you?  Or do I love YOU?

Life Lessons From a Remote Controlled Monster Truck

Our good friend Gary joined us as he normally does on the second Tuesday of each month for our free store conversation. He was carrying a brown bag with him that we initially thought contained food but we soon discovered that instead he had brought a toy. Now he told us that it was a toy that his grown kids had left behind when they moved out of the house. But given the fun that he had with it we teased him that he clearly had purchased it for himself.

The toy turned out to be a remote controlled monster pick up truck that Gary proceeded to put on the floor and run around the room. He managed to run over a few toes and bump into a few walls for which he was properly scolded. As he ran it around the room Gary said that the toy went exactly where he directed it and did exactly what he wanted it to. Then he asked us to imagine that he was God and the truck was a human being and to think about how his relationship to it was both like and unlike our relationship with God.

Curtis started things off by saying that whereas the truck was completely under Gary's control that human beings have free choice so we don't have to do what God wants us to. We talked about how God gives us signals and directions but that we are much more complicated than an inanimate toy. Gary said that since the truck was wireless the signals were invisible to us just like our relationship with God. 

Someone else said that like the truck we get our power from a source outside of ourselves and if God didn't push the power button we wouldn't go anywhere.  We talked a bit about how our world is infused with the life of God and that to mistreat any part of it, including ourselves, animals, and nature, is to disrespect the source of life itself.  Linda made us a laugh when she said that our batteries also ran out like the toy truck. Someone else said that we could do a lot more damage to ourselves and others than the toy truck.

Although we weren't sure exactly how it fit in Terrence said that God wants us to prosper but that we shouldn't think of this as only about money and material things. He said that our spirit was just as important as our physical body to which many heads were nodding in agreement.

In concluding our discussion Gary told us a story about a hermit that lived in a cave and said this might not be a lot different than the living situations of some of our friends. The hermit returned to his cave and discovered a thief. He told the man that he only had three things; a small bowl, a thin mat to lay on and he said the thief could take those items but the other thing he could not give the thief. The thief was of course interested in the third thing so the hermit took the man down to the trail to a pond. As it was night the hermit pointed to a round silver disk in the middle of the pond and pointing to it said "that is the thing I cannot give you." The thief realized that the disk was the reflection of the moon. The hermit said that it was a reminder to him that all the good things in the world were a reflection of the love of God and were gifts that could be pointed out but not given away.

We were very encouraged to realize that the most important things in life can neither be bought with our money nor stolen from us. Gary said that was a bit like what was happening at the free store which made us all smile.

How You Treat People Is More Important Than Anything Else You Do (Yes Anything)

In our Saturday morning free store conversation we talked about something Jesus said in his famous sermon on the mount.  He basically told his friends that if they were at the altar with their gift and they remembered that someone had something against them that they should leave their gift and go and make things right with that person.  We talked a bit about what it meant to take a gift to the altar since this wasn't something that was very familar to us.  Someone said that it was like taking an offering to church.  This made sense and we all agreed that Jesus was most likely talking about the religious act of presenting a gift to our God, whether it be in a synagogue, temple, mosque, or church.

Someone asked the question why human beings feel like we have to give gifts to God.  We wondered what it says about God that we think we have to give gifts in order to receive the divine favor.  Someone suggested that it might be because we are afraid of God and feel like we have to pay for our mistakes in some way.  We laughed when someone said that at least we don't have to offer animal sacrifices anymore because we only kill them for hamburgers at McDonalds now.

At this point in our conversation someone said that it was pretty radical that Jesus told his friends to leave their gift at the altar and go make peace with the person that had something against them.  It seemed radical to us that Jesus would say that our relationships with people trumps our relationship with God.  That is exactly the opposite of what most of us had been taught at church.  Our friend Debbie said that it was probably harder to deal with people so instead we focus on our relationship with God.  When questioned about what that meant she said that if we think that God loves us then we sort of know that we will be accepted.  However, people don't have to accept us when we reach out to them so it's a bit more risky for us.

We talked a bit about what kinds of things that people might hold against one another. One of our friends said infidelity was hard to forgive.  George thought that lying and stealing were pretty good reasons to be upset with someone.  Sheila said that it was very difficult to deal with someone that wouldn't communicate with you.  It was sobering to realize how many things that we can do to offend and hurt others.  But at least we have the opportunity to minize the damage that we do by reaching out in friendship even when we have made mistakes.

As the discussion moved toward a conclusion the question came about why treating others could be more imporant than even our worship of God.  After a bit of silent reflection someone suggested that since every person is made in the image of God then the way we treat people is in reality the way that we are treating God.  Although we found that statement a bit challenging it is also very encouraging.  Every person matters and no one has a right to abuse another human being.

I'm Rich and Noboby's Gonna Make Me Poor

In our Friday morning free store conversation we talked about the story that Jesus told about a rich man and his dishonest manager.  The gist of the story is that this rich guy discovers that his property manager is embezzling money.  We started by talking about how people that have a lot of stuff actually depend on other peope to manage it for them.  We had a bit of fun when we started asking around the circle if we could make a list of everything that we owned.  Rick admitted that he couldn't even make a list of everything he had in his bedroom.  And we all laughed when he talked about having drawers full of stuff that he didn't even know he had.

We also talked about how much energy people put into protecting the stuff they have.  Like the rich man in the story we all cling to the property that we have like it was a lifeline.  Rick told us about a man that he knew that used to say, "I'm rich and nobody's gonna make me poor" which gave us a good laugh.  Somehow we were all able to identify with this attachment to possessions that can be so exagerrated in very rich people.

When we got back in the story we discovered that when the dishonest man was caught stealing that put him in a real bad spot.  He basically admitted that he had a pretty cushy job with the rich guy but didn't like the idea of having to look for other means of support.  Basically he didn't want to have to get a job that required too much physical work and he was too proud to beg.  This gave us a bit of a laugh and led us into a discussion about some of the worst jobs we have had.  George said he used to pick tobacco which was very hot and hard work.  He said that sometimes snakes would hide around the base of the plants as well as spiders.  Rick told us about his nephew that went to work on the farm and after the first day collapsed on the bed at the end of the day and slept right through until morning.  He was impressed when the kid got up and went to work the next day and worked on the farm the whole summer.  Someone else talked about digging ditches when he was fifteen years old and deciding right then that he would go to college.

We also talked a bit about how it can be humiliating to beg or even to ask for help.  We decided that it was mostly pride that kept us from asking for help even when we needed it.  Interesting that many of our friends actually resort to begging as a means to support themselves.  Our friend Billy used to sit at the free store table and write on his cardboard sign "Homeless, Hungry, Please Help."  Then he would wink when he left and say, "I'm goin ta use my credit card."

We discovered that the dishonest manager came up with a very creative solution to his problem.  He called all of the people that owed the rich man money and had each of them reduce their bill by about fifty percent.  We got a bit of a laugh out of this and smiled at the man's ingenuity.  George said that guy was like Robin Hood stealing from the rich to give to the poor but that it was still wrong.  The thing that really struck us was that the rich man actually commended the dishonest steward.  He basically said that the guy was smart for using his money to make friends.  And since Jesus told the story we felt that he was also commending the man for his use of money to make friends.

Someone told the story about a friend he knew named Dave that sold his small general store and bought a van and motorcyle and now travelled around the country and spent time with friends everywhere he went.  Dave used to say, "Man you own too much to be free."  We talked some about how it might seem like a good thing to be wealthy and have a lot of stuff but it all comes with a price.  We might like the big house but that house comes with a big mortgage which requires a big paycheck which means the owner has to keep his big paying job even if he hates it.

In conclusion we talked about how the best use of money is to spend it on the people around us.  We can get so preoccupied with our possessions that we can easily forget that it is really our relationships in life that matter most.

Panic Attacks, Atrial Fibrillations, and Zombies

Our friend George Dunn joined us as he normally does for our Thursday morning conversation.  George is pretty popular at the free store, in part because he brings at least a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts each time that he comes.  Beyond this he is very generous and does what he can to support his friends.  We refer to him now as the loaves and fishes guy.  George has a great sense of humor and always gives us something challenging and inspiring to think about.

Our friend Donald was first in line for the donuts, but as we have seen before just how many the man can consume we had to limit him to just one. It was all in good fun and Donald knows that we care about him and he was able to laugh as we teased him about it.

George started the conversation by telling us that heart disease is the number one killer in our country.  And that hypertension is the number one cause of heart disease.  And that anxiety is the number one cause of hypertension.  George told us that he has had three heart attacks and the last one was nearly fatal but through it he came away with a new sense of purpose and meaning for his life.  He suggested that the way to best deal with anxiety is to learn to trust in God rather than government, medicine, or social security.  George always has a bit of a twinkle in his eye as he says such things.

We talked a bit about how ironic it is that as a country we have so much wealth and yet so little health and happiness.  Collectively we probably take more Prozac and other antidepressants than any other place in the world.  One of our friends said that the more you have the more that you have to lose and the more that you have to worry about.

A new friend told us that she suffered from very severe panic attacks.  She said that she was trusting God and taking some medication for it and hoped to get it under control.  She said that it was very scary and yet she was hopeful that her condition would improve.  Our friend Paul talked about his anxiety over being diagnosed with atrial fibrillation which runs in  his family and that he knows it can be fatal.  It was sobering to realize as we listened to our friends that there are very real and legitimate reasons for our fears and anxieties.

This led one of our friends to talk about how our anxieties can be irrational at times as well.  He told us about his son Jon who is deathly afraid of zombies and refused to go outside after dark the other night to get the mail even though he thought it might contain a video game he was expecting.  This made us laugh as we realized that our minds can manufacture things to be worried about even when there is no real threat.

We concluded our conversation with a discussion about how we can throw a pity party for ourselves as we face adverse circumstances.  This is the classic question we throw at God as we rail against the cruel universe, "Don't you care about us?"  Or we can learn what it means to trust God as a way to manage our anxieties and learn to live without disabling anxiety and fear.  This is the classic question that God asks us as we sob and bluster, "Don't you trust me?"

Plan B Is What We Do

Carlos joined us for the free store conversation on Wednesday morning and continued leading us through the book of Galatians in the New Testament.  He led us in a discussion of the two sons of Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael, and their symbolic significance which he told us was deep stuff.  But we have learned that Carlos is fearless and very helpful about dealing with the deep stuff and so we ploughed on knowing it would be worth the effort even if we didn't understand it all.

We had a little fun with the idea that Abraham had two wives as well as two sons.  The men weren't sure that having two wives would work that well.  George was certain that two would be too many.  One of our friends said that the extra wife would just be one more woman to beat  his balls which made us all laugh.  Linda didn't think it would be any better to have two husbands, especially given her current circumstances in a tent in the woods which also made us smile.

Carlos told us that God had an A Plan for Abraham's life which included giving him children more numerous than could be counted.  However, Abraham and his wife Sarah both were getting older and still had no children so the time came when they decided they needed a B Plan.  So Sarah suggested that Abraham have sex with the slave girl Hagar as a way to have the children they were promised.  As it turned out Hagar got pregnant and Sarah got jealous and Abraham got grief.  So Plan B didn't work so well and Hagar and Ishmael ended up in the desert about to die.  Fortunately God intervened and spared Hagar and Ishmael and went back to work with Abraham and Sarah on Plan A.

At this point Sheila and Rick joined our discussion.  We all shared our sympathy with Sheila over the loss of her husband Dave.  Carlos asked how they were doing and invited them to talk about what they were feeling.  Sheila eventually did talk about her feelings in losing her husband Dave.  She told us that losing a husband was very different than what she had experienced in losing her sister and mother years ago.  She told us that the house just seemed so empty without him.  She said that she even missed things about him that at one time seemed a bit irritating, like the TV playing too loud.  But she told us that it helped to have the support of friends around her and others that were contacting her through Facebook.

We wrapped up our conversation by talking about how our Plan B is often not the best plan but that God continues to work toward the A Plan for our lives.  That sounded to us like very good news.

Hard Is What Makes It Great

In our free store conversation on Tuesday morning we looked at the story about Jesus being tempted by the devil in the desert.  We focused on that part of the story where the devil takes him to a high mountain and shows him all the glory of the kingdoms of the world in a brief panoramic vision.  Shay shared with us how she had just had a dream the night before in which she was warned not to go to a certain place.  We talked a bit about how dreams and visions are similar and can have importance in our lives but there is no exact science in interpreting them.

This launched us into a discussion about places we would like to see if we had the chance.  George said he would like to go to Africa and see all the wild animals and maybe even Mighty Joe Young which gave us a good laugh.  Our friend Shay said she would like to go to Egypt and see the pyramids.  Rick said that he would love to travel to Germany.  When asked why he said there was no particular reason but some of us suspected it was because of the beer.   Christy and her fiance, who had spent the night in a small pup tent in the woods during the severe wind storm, said they would like to go to Hawaii or a tropical island in Mexico, anywhere sunny and balmy.  We all agreed that our world was a beautiful and amazing place in spite of all the bad stuff in it.

We talked about how Jesus in the desert was being offered all the glory and power in our world in exchange for an easy act of worship.  Someone suggested that it was a story about being offered something the easy way rather than doing things the right way which is often the hard way.  We talked about that classic picture of the good angel on one shoulder and bad angel on the other pulling us in two different directions.

Someone said that it was the desire to make money the easy way that made people like Donald Trump a rich man which made us smile.  One of our friends recounted a scene from the movie "A League of Their Own" in which the women's baseball team's star player quits before the last game because "it's too hard" and the coach says to her, "If it was easy everybody would do it.  Hard is what makes it great."

We talked about how doing things the easy way is not always the best way and someone said that short cuts can turn out to be nothing more than dead ends.  We talked about how many of the best things in life are also hard things.  Exercise is hard but the rewards are very satisfying.  George said that it was hard working on the GED but he is determined to do it because he knows it will be worth the effort. Many of our friends seemed very reflective as we talked about these things.

As our conversation moved toward a conclusion a new friend that had joined us for the first time said that she felt like the discussion was just for her.  She talked about wanting things in her life to come together quickly and easily and that she was realizing that was not going to happen.  We thanked our new friend for sharing.

We have so many friends that inspire us with their fath and hope in the face of serious adversity.  We found it very encouraging to think that the hard things in our lives can make us great.

It's a Bad Day

In our Saturday morning free store conversation we talked about our good friend Dave Reynolds that just passed away on Friday, April 1.  Sheila and Dave have been instrumental in the operation of the free store since we moved into the Area 15 warehouse almost two years ago.  Before he became too ill to staff the store on a regular basis Dave used to manage the almost free section of the store where we sold some furniture and electronic items.  Dave was a natural salesman and enjoyed haggling over prices with our customers although he would rarely lower a price once he set it much to the frustration of our friends.  He thought that in general our prices "were too damn low."

We started our discussion with the question about what things can help us to deal with the grief we feel when we lose someone that we care about.  George perfectly expressed how we were all feeling when he said, "It's a bad day."  So we acknowledged our collective sadness and began to talk about where we found strength to face our friend's death.  Rick said that he was encouraged to think that Dave had gone  to a better place and that his struggle was over.  We all agreed that Dave had really struggled the last months of his life with end stage lung disease that had him in the hospital seven times since January.  Someone else mentioned how profound and yet unfathomable hope can be when staring into the lifeless face of a once living person.  We talked a bit about how life would seem so meaningless if death really was the ultimate end of existence.

Our friend Donald talked about meeting Dave when he first started coming to the free store and Dave told him to just come and hang out because he would meet people that cared about him.  Donald said that he likes to come to the free store "cos white folks are nice to me and it don't matter if you're black or white."  He also said that "God is good" and we should keep our faith and not give up.  We thanked Donald for his comments and encouraged him to keep his remarks short and give others a chance to speak (we've learned that Donald can be quite a preacher when he gets cranked up).

At this point our friend Tony told us that he thought it was good to be with family and close friends at a time when someone dies.  Meanwhile our friend Robert kept wandering in and out of the room while we were having the discussion.  Tony said it made him feel better to be with people that cared about him.  And our friend Rick said later that it made a big difference when you had people to support you when you had to go through something like this.

We laughed a bit when one of our friends reminded us that Dave was the free store "junkyard dog" and that he had managed to ruffle a few feathers along the way.  There were many days that feathers would have to be smoothed after one of our friends would encounter the tougher side of Big Dave.  He also introduced us to the "oyster shooter" at our staff meetings at Boardwalk Billys which now serves as something of an initiation rite for those friends that move into the inner circle.  We all smiled knowing that it was all part of who Dave was and ultimately part of the man that we loved and will miss.

Anti-Consumerism April or Stop Buying Shit and Shop at the Free Store

In our friday morning free store conversation we had a group of college students from the University of North Carolina join us.  They were doing community service hours for credit in classes they are taking in ethics and philosophy taught by our friend and their teacher Ellyn Ritterskamp.  So before we put them to work cleaning the store, organizing donations, and making sandwiches for lunch we got into a discussion about our consumer culture and its impact on our lives.

We started the conversation with the question about what are some of the negative effects on our lives of our consumer culture.  As there were some business majors with us we thought someone might challenge the assumption that consumerism is a bad thing.  However, no one did so we proceeded with our assumption that most of us probably have more stuff than we need and could get by with a bit less.  We all laughed when somone suggested a new free store tag line, "Stop buying shit.  Shop at the free store."

Ellyn suggested that we could do something as simple as get a library card as a way to check our consumeristic habits.  She said that as a result of doing this a few years back she had saved money and was able to limit her purchases to books that she would go back to multiple times.
Our friend Mark told us about a bartering system in Charlotte about 10 years ago.  He said that he did some home renovation work for a local doctor in exhange for cancer treatments.  He said that this really helped him at the time and that he actually walked away from the deal cancer free and with some money to spare.

Someone else told us about being involved in a project in which a company donated personal hygiene products that were then shipped overseas.  Another friend shared how her dad would take produce from his farm that he was not able to sell and donate it to a local food kitchen.  She told us that it was very satisfying to know that you could give something that could help someone else.

Someone shared about watching a YouTube clip of the actor Peter Coyote talking about a free store art project in LA in the 1960's.  He made the point that enough goods are manufactured in the world that every person could have everything they need to live but money creates scarcity.

We concluded our discussion by talking about the importance of finding creative and relational ways to share the wealth and abundance in our world.

How We Live is the Ultimate Expression of What We Believe

On Thursday morning our friend George Dunn led us in a great discussion about the importance of living the truth and not just talking about it.  As one of our friends says, "Don't just talk good news, be good news."  George told us about a time in his life when he talked a lot about the bible and theology but didn't practice it.  He told us about how a friend had challenged him at one point to live the truth that he claimed to believe.  Although he didn't like the advice it made an impression on him and helped him to become a more authentic individual.  And from our experience George is a very authentic character.

At this point Shawn asked the question about why so much of the bible depicts a violent God that commands people to be destroyed and punishes those that disobey.  He asked us to pray for him as he was really struggling to understand this.  Someone said that was a great question and there were no simple answers to it.  George said that we just don't know the answer to that question which many of us found resfreshingly honest.  Someone quoted Bono who says, "Jacob wrestled the angel, and the angel was overcome."  We talked about how it could seem easier to just turn back from the struggles involved in honestly facing hard questions.  The tension between faith and reason, between rationality and spirituality tempts us to choose easy answers but it is far more rewarding to live with the tension.  It may be difficult to wrestle the angel but we encouraged our friend to keep struggling as the rewards far outweigh the difficulties.

At this point in our discussion the question came up about terrorists that kill in the name of God.  Someone suggested that every religion has its extremists that will use violence against others if given the chance.  Another friend said that the commandment against killing was based on the reality that human beings are in the image of God and that to kill another person is an attack against the divine reality at the heart of the universe.  We talked about how even in cases where killing can be justified, like warfare and self-defense, it does something to a person when they take the life of another human being.  Someone said that this is why soldiers coming home from the battlefield can have such problems adjusting to civilian life.

We also talked about the significance of creative, non-violent ways to deal with the problems in our world.  Someone mentioned the importance of people like Martin Luther King and Gandhi for their non-violent approach in confronting injustice and bringing about positive change.  Our friend Shawn reminded us that Malcolm X had also brought about positive change even though he chose the violent path.

As our conversation came to an end George reminded us that how we live is ultimately an expression of what we really believe.  We found that message both challenging and encouraging.

Can Rules Make Us Right With God?

In our free store conversation on Wednesday morning Carlos led us in another fascinating and fun discussion of a passage in Galatians 4. Although before we got started we had a bit of fun at Sheila's expense when a rather unpleasant sound came from her direction. She immediately blamed it on the chair which got us all laughing and it took a while for us to settle down enough to resume the discussion.



Carlos started the conversation with the observation that the Apostle Paul was mad at his friends because they were reverting to behaviors that were not consistent with their freedom in Christ. Sheila thought that freedom was a very good thing. We also found it refreshing to see such a human side of such a "holy man." We talked a bit about the importance of being completely honest about ourselves and our lives and not putting so much importance on our image or appearance. This led Sheila to share a bit about her experience of being homeless a couple years ago. She talked about how it was something you could never really understand unless you have gone through it. She told us about watching someone eat a hamburger and not being able to get one for herself and how helpless she felt.

Carlos observed how it was very common for people to try to gain God's and other people's approval through the things they do. We talked about the different kinds of things that people think are required to get right with God, like tithing, or going to church, or getting baptized, or believing a certain set of doctrines. But none of those things get to the heart of what really matters about life. We also talked about how all of those actions can be performed without the need for faith at all. One of our friends brought up the example of how we will often promise to do things for God if God will do certain things for us. George said he prayed like that many times when he was in prison.

Someone said that since every person reflects the image of God that when we do harm to ourselves or others we are actually hurting God. It is an amazing thing to recognize that each person is an extension of the divine being. One of our friends talked about a Christian group that goes to the funerals of gay military personnel and condemns them to hell for their homosexuality. He said that he thought this was showing disrespect for God.


As our discussion moved to a conclusion someone asked the question, "Why are people so attracted to religious groups that focus on the rules?" Someone suggested that maybe it is easier to focus on specific rules rather than embrace some vague thing like love as a guide for our actions. Carlos thought it was an excellent question and hoped we could talk more about it in future conversations.

Real, Raw & Messy

In our free store conversation yesterday the issue of the law/the don't system came up yet again. As a group we apparently have some issues with authority and mechanisms of social control. We talked about how even Jesus didn't blindly follow the laws of his own people and nation. Someone suggested that Jesus wasn't the nice guy that is depicted in much of the traditional church artwork. Unlike most nice guys he managed to make a lot of enemies among the law and order crowd and was eventually crucified among rogues.


We agreed that society could not function without law because many people have not grown up beyond their childish need for rules to govern them. This led us to talk about our own experiences with the law. One of our friends said that the police in the small town where he grew up knew him by name and would pull him over and search his 1968 Camaro on a regular basis. George said that at one point in his life he would fight the police and that he was so strong and wiry that he made it difficult for them to control him. He also told us about getting into a fight with a police officer and having the opportunity to grab the officer's gun and shoot him but didn't do it. Curtis told us that in his experience breaking the law had brought him a lot of pain and heartache.

Sheila said she had always been a good girl and never got in any trouble. We didn't entirely believe this but without witnesses we had no way to dispute it. Although some of us have seen her do an Oyster Shooter at Boardwalk Billy's so we were fairly certain she wasn't telling the whole truth.

We also talked about how not all laws are just and some laws should be opposed. Someone said it was a good thing that people have opposed the slave laws in our own American history or their would still be slavery in this country today. Someone else suggested that drug laws seem to target the poor and the addicts rather than the wealthy dealers and corporate fat cats that smuggle them into the country. This led one of our friends to quote the lines from a metal song by System of a Down/B.y.o.b, "Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?" It seemed to us that many laws simply protect the interests of the rich while furthering the oppression of the poor.

Our conversation ended with a bit of a discussion about how keeping the rules might make a person a good citizen but it doesn't mean that you would want that person as a friend. Someone said that the Pharisees in Jesus day probably didn't throw very good parties which gave us a good laugh. And we all agreed that people that play it by the book all the time aren't that much fun to be around. Apparently our free store group likes things a bit real and raw and messy!

Give Your Life Some Flavor and Live Out Loud

We had a lively free store conversation on Saturday morning about the importance of being an individual and not fearing what others think of us. The discussion started with an exploration of what Jesus might have meant when he told his friends that they were the “salt” and the “light” of the world. None of us knew much about salt but we agreed that it definitely added flavor to otherwise bland foods.  We also talked about how salt that loses its saltiness isn't good for much.  We discussed how difficult it is when a person loses their mojo and becomes depressed and feels worthless.  Several people said that had happened to them but that it is possible to get it back which we found very encouraging.

Someone made the observation that our friend George uses a lot of salt which made us laugh. Someone else noticed that some of our friends use large amounts of sugar in their coffee as well. This got us talking about some of the flavorful characters we know.


Characters are welcome at the free store and we have met some very salty friends over the two years we have been at Area 15. One of our favorites is our friend Billy that used to sit at our table and write out his “Homeless, Hungry, Please Help” sign and would then wink at us as he left the store and say he was “going to use my credit card.” We agreed that such friends have made our lives much richer by their presence so we hesitate to even call them poor anymore.

Someone suggested that it is very important that we express our individuality and not live in fear of what others might think of us. We talked a bit about how we tend to stifle our individuality so that we can fit in with others. Maybe we don’t really say what we are thinking because we are afraid of what others might think about it. Or maybe we try not to be noticed because we are afraid that we might attract some negative attention. Or maybe we don’t try something that we would really like to do because we don’t want to be criticized. We agreed that this was not a particularly satisfying way to live. Someone suggested that we should take some risks because “if we aren’t living on the edge we are taking up too much space.” For some reason that gave us all a good laugh, even the guys that walked in off the street just for a hot cup of coffee before moving on.

We moved on in the discussion to talk about what it might mean to be the light of the world. Someone suggested that light was vital to life. We thought that gave great significance to our lives. We talked about how light does not exist to be hidden but to be seen and to light up the surrounding darkness.  Someone mentioned the way that a room can light up when someone that you really care about prances in.

There is an old Jewish proverb that says, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” Although it might be gratifying and a bit therapeutic to occasionally rail at a cold, dark universe it is ultimately better to get about letting our inner light shine into the dark places of our world.

Good Things Can Come Out of Bad Situations

In our conversation on Friday morning we talked about some of Jesus' sayings that are commonly known as the beatitudes.  He says things like "blessed are the poor" and "blessed are those that mourn."  We agreed that these are difficult sayings, not so much because we don't understand them, but because they sort of rub us the wrong way.  We imagined it might be like the feeling a cat would have if we petted its fur from the tail end toward the head rather than stroking it the other way.

We found it interesting that Jesus said that things we view as bad actually contain a blessing.  The question came up about what could possibly be good about being poor.  Linda suggested that when you are poor you appreciate things more and that you learn that money can't buy the things that are really important in life.  And George shared how he learned how to paint with pastels when he was in prison (he was taught the technique by a man on death row).  So we had to acknowledge that good things can come out of bad situations.

Someone said that maybe "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, because there is more crap over there."  We thought this was funny.  We talked about how sometimes things can get so bad that we might be tempted to give up.  Linda told us that she had reached that point last February and had tried to commit suicide.  She took 45 pills and then went and lay down in a cemetary to die where no one would bother her.  She lay there for hours experiencing frightening hallucinations.  But she also remembered praying to God that she had made a mistake and that she wanted to live.  Amazingly she woke up hours later and then admitted herself into a 30 day treatment program.

We also discussed a bit about the saying, "blessed are the peacemakers."  We talked about how the government spends so much money on weapons (56% of the national budget on defense) and so little on peace.  Someone said that peacemaking is harder than troublemaking.  Linda told us that someone had ripped the top of her tent in the night and that she woke up half wet the next morning.  At this George told us about a man he knew in prison named "Mule-Head" Hunt.  This man was on death row for the murder of over 30 people.  We realized what a difficult and yet extraordinary thing it is to make peace in a world filled with so much violent and destructive behavior.

In closing we decided it was encouraging to know that we could find blessings even in midst of all the crap in our world and in our lives!

Dream Big and Live Large

In our conversation Wednesday morning we talked a bit more about the "Don't System."  This is a major theme of the book of Galatians that Carlos has been leading us through when he is with us.  We have learned that the law/don't system isn't bad in itself but that it is designed for children rather than mature adults.  And that we can't really form good friendships on the basis of what we don't do to people although that can be a good start.

We had a bit of fun exploring the don't system when someone suggested that it includes things like, "Don't pick your nose."  Sheila said that it's ok to pick your nose but just "don't show it to anyone."  We got a good laugh at this.  Carlos pointed out how ridiculous it is for us to try to gain God's approval either through the things we don't do or through the things that we do.

We talked about how there would be no need for the don't system if people would just respect and love each other.  We wondered if there would even be a need for prisons in a world where people had grown up into mature adults.  Carlos suggested that it is not a very good sign in a relationship when we start to say things like, "Don't you treat me like that."

Somehow we got into a bit of a discussion about sibling rivalry.  We talked about how kids will often compete for a parent's approval.  Someone also said that this same thing happens in religious groups that act like they are in a competition for God's approval by either not doing certain things or by doing things better than other groups.  This seemed a bit ridiculous to us and yet we all knew from experience that it happened.

As our conversation wrapped up we turned toward the idea of what kinds of things we could do to be better friends to each other.  Our friend Cheronne told us about how he was confronted the night before by some guys that insulted and physically threatened him because he was different.  He said that he wasn't going to let this bother him because he was going to change the world even though he didn't know exactly how.  We discovered that Cheronne has a non-profit organization called The Who We Are Movement and he also has a FB page called Difference Makers.  His youthful optimism made us smile but we all encouraged him to do just that and to not let the harsh realities of life keep him from dreaming big and living large! 

Be Extraordinary!

In our free store conversation on Saturday morning we talked about some of the things Jesus said in one of his most famous sermons that we know as the sermon on the mount.  We noted that just like Moses received the ten commandments on mount Sinai and brought them down to the people (who were in the act of breaking them, which for some reason made us laugh) so Jesus brings something new to the people from the Mount of Olives.  "You have heard" but "I say."

We talked a bit about how Jesus was not stuck in tradition but was very open to new ideas and new ways of looking at things and doing things.  The question came up why people tend to cling to the old way and reject the new.  Someone said that maybe we just get comfortable with doing things in a certain way and so we can be threatened by change.

We grappled with what Jesus meant when he said, "love your enemies."  Well actually we didn't grapple with it because it seemed very clear but we thought it was a bit crazy if not impossible to put into practice.  Our friend Dave suggested this was like a saying he heard about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer.  Debbie later told me that this was a line out of "The Godfather."  It made me smile to think of Marlon Brandon with his slow forceful drawl quoting Jesus to his slow-witted and brutal associates!  We did agree that Jesus was calling us to go beyond the social norm when dealing with people.  If even "tax-collectors" and "pagans" can love their neighbors how hard can that be!

We talked about how it is fairly easy to be friendly to people that are friendly to us (unless it is too early in the morning and the person is too damn chipper!).  And it is not that hard to love the people that love us.  Although someone mentioned that we are not always open to receive the love that other people want to give us.  So in effect we felt that Jesus was telling us to go beyond the social norm in our dealings with people.  We talked about how sometimes it is the hard things in life that are the most worth doing.  In the movie A League of Their Own the star baseball player quits before the final game because "it's too hard," to which the coach says, "If it was easy everybody would do it.  Hard is what makes it great."

At this point Dave told us a story about when he was younger and spent fifty bucks to ride a horse that ended up bucking him off and giving him a very sore backside.  Apparently he was trying to impress some girls.  Someone also shared a story about our friend Jonathan who did an amazing canon ball when he was five years old in a diving contest.  Unfortunately he did it before the judges were ready and ended up losing the competition to a pretty little four year old that most likely won it on the strength of her cute looks.  We weren't exactly sure how these stories fit in but they were entertaining and we enjoyed them a great deal.

In wrapping things up we talked about how we thought that Jesus was calling us to go beyond the ordinary and to become extraordinary people.  We think he was telling us to do the hard thing and love even our enemies rather than just taking the easy "you scratch my back I'll scratch yours" approach to relationships.  It felt good to know that we could be extraordinary!

Is It Really Possible to Live Without Worry?

In our free store conversation on Friday morning we talked about some of the things Jesus said in Matthew 6.  It struck us as pretty radical that he basically told people, "Don't worry."  We joked about how if anybody else would say that to us we would probably think they were a bit crazy.  We agreed that it seems very unrealistic to tell people not to worry.  But we knew that Jesus didn't say this because he had a soft cushy life with nothing to worry about.

We also talked about how he didn't just say, "Don't sweat the small stuff."  Jesus actually told people not to worry about the big stuff, like eating and drinking, and having clothing and shelter, or about the future.  So we talked a bit about the things that had us worried and kept us awake at night.  Linda said that she often worried about being attacked in her tent at night, either by wild animals or those with "two legs."  Then she shared with us how a little mouse had come to her tent last night and it made her feel good that someone cared about her.  Tony said that he worried about his aging parents and his 18-year old daughter and her future.  At this heads were nodding in agreement so others were also worried about their families.  George said that he worried about getting his driver's license and his GED and having to go back on the street if his roomates move and he loses his room.  Someone mentioned how worried the people in Japan must be today.  It was sobering to realize all of the serious things that people have to worry about in our world.

At this point in our discussion we wondered how Jesus could tell people not to worry.  And we discovered that his logic was fairly simple but that didn't mean it was easy to accept or put into practice.  He said that we don't have to worry because we can trust in a God that cares for us as well as all of the natural world.  And he also said that worry was not profitable because it doesn't add anything to our lives (not even an inch to our height which we thought was a very clever way to make the point!).  If anything worry can be destructive rather than constructive.  Linda shared how her mind snapped and she became severely depressed and had to be hospitalized because of anxiety at one point in her life.

Near the end of our conversation the question came up about what would be the perfect worry free day?  George said that would be a day that he could mow seven lawns which the rest of us then teased him about.  But George said that he felt best when he could keep busy.  Someone else said it would be a day on the beach listening to the waves lap the sand with the warm sun shining down.  Linda said that she hadn't been to the beach in ten years.  And then Rick shared about a time he fell asleep on the beach and ended up with a blistering sunburn!  But we all agreed that a day on the beach is overall a pretty good day.

Interestely, we all seemed to feel a little more relaxed and less stressed after talking about these things.  We decided that although Jesus sayings can be very radical and challenging they also contain profound wisdom that can really make our lives better.

What On Earth Is God Doing? (by George Dunn)

I recently heard a marvelous story. A little 6 year old girl was in a drawing lesson. She was in the back of the room. She hardly ever paid attention in class but was doing so this time. The teacher was fascinated and walked over to her and asked, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” The teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like!” To which the girl replied, “They will in a minute!”

I'm reminded that Jesus was asked by his guys, his students (disciples), "Show us the Father?!" In a nutshell His response was: “He who has seen me has seen the Father."

Whew, this adds a new dimension to the little girls’ story. If "He" (Jesus), who we say is very God, lives His life in and through us, perhaps the only way the world can see Him, is by looking at us. As if to say, “Want to know what God is like? Wondering what on earth God is doing! “Look at me!” We are his picture!

How does the world see God? And…What on earth is God doing? This question is the beginning, for me, of a new journey of exploration, contemplation and especially self examination.

I can tell you from experience that lately God has been doing some stuff. Just yesterday He spent some time with His friends Dennis and Paul and with his wife Nancy, talking about responding to homelessness, poverty and the needs of those in our community. Later, He helped his wife pack and get ready for her trip and yes, God IS married. Later, God spent time purchasing and programming a new cell phone for Nancy’s trip to Michigan and ordering Nancy’s special vitamins and protein foods to be delivered to where she will be staying. Later He (in me) made and confirmed Nancy’s rent-a-car and Hotel reservations. God even washed some of her clothes – reluctantly. Earlier, that morning, God spent some time at the Free Store in downtown Charlotte. It is run by his friend Paul Fisher. As He does every week, God conducted a devotional bible study with some homeless folks and fed them donuts and coffee instead of loaves and fishes. Around noon He (God in me) had lunch at Dim Sum with Dennis, Paul and Nancy. Together they had a lively theological discussion. God, it seems, is quite fond of Chinese food – especially sweet and sour pork! Oops, not kosher. It’s worth noting that He left the waitress a very generous tip. God is not cheap! He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He loves to give and He wants you to have your best life NOW!

In the early evening God spent a lot time just relaxing. He rested from his labors. Later in the evening it became evident that God is fond of Netflix! He especially enjoys reruns of the TV series 24! He and Jack Bauer are in the same business – saving the world! After watching episodes for much of the evening - God (in Christ, in me) undertook reading and responding to some spiritual e-mails. Then He did some blogging and of course journaling followed by prayer! Amen! God is good! Then He curled up with a good “Christian” book by theologian Howard Snyder. As you probably know, God is very keen on intellectual and theological writings and discussions. He religiously spends countless hours daily in such pursuits. About midnight, God was seen asleep in his favorite chair with his feet propped up on his favorite ottoman.

Just this moment it struck me that I may have to rethink this, see God or Jesus by looking at me stuff. I’m somewhat uncomfortable with this new revelation. It seems like strange fire – not very evangelical. Right now I find myself in uncharted theological waters. I’m feeling uncomfortable with this new faith. “Want to see God look at me” sounds kind of brassy and showoffy! Come to think of it, I’m too unpretentious for that approach. I don’t like to be in the limelight or to bring attention to myself! I’m more comfortable with, “Want to see what God is like – don’t look at me - look at Jesus!” That’s just the kind of guy I am. Humble.

The Don't System and the Do Way

Our friend Carlos, one of the owners of Area 15, led us in a fascinating conversation Wednesday morning. He is walking us through the book of Galatians when he is with us and was talking about chapter 4.

Carlos referred to the Apostle Paul's references to the law as "The Don't System." Don't lie. Don't rape. Don't spit on your brother. This system is based on external motivation and is primarily rooted in fear of consequences and punishments. Although such mechanisms of control help to bring order to society they don't go far enough because they don't create mature and loving people. Someone observed that the don't people don't throw very good parties!

The question came up about what happens when you do the very things forbidden by the don't system? George suggested saying "sorry" which gave us a good laugh! And though that is a good thing to do we all intuitively sensed that it would not be enough. Carlos said that if the cop pulled you over for speeding and you told him you were going home to do the dishes for your wife you would probably still get the ticket.

Carlos also suggested that the don't system is part of the child mentality and not the mature adult. It might prevent us from kicking each other but that is hardly enough to make for good relationships with others. We laughed when someone suggested that the not kicking would probably be "a good start."

We then switched gears and talked about "The Do Way" of living our lives. This way is all about faith and internal motivation. This is the way that we become mature loving people. By focusing on the positive things that we can do to make our relationships with others more satisfying we grow in ways that we could never grow by focusing on the don't system with its rules and restrictions.

We explored the question, "What would someone have to do to be your friend? Sheila said we could help her clean her house which gave us a good laugh. George said that a friend should be honest and not make up stories about having more than they really do. Ron said that a friend should be willing to listen and talk about things that really matter.

For some reason we ended up talking about the things we all liked about our friend Rick. Rick has a great sense of humor and has made many of the signs we hang at the free store. One of our favorites was when he wrote on the sign on the front door, "The Free Store is Closed Because It is Not Open."

Is It Bad to Love Myself?

Why are we socialized to think that somehow love of self and love of others are in conflict? That is one of the questions that we discussed at The Free Store on Tuesday morning. Many of us have been raised in conservative religious traditions that have told us that we have to love others more than we love ourselves and that self-love is bad and sinful.

We looked at a text in Ephesians 5 that makes the point that "the man should love his wife as he loves his own body." Most of us know how to love our own bodies because we instinctively protect ourselves from harm (the characters in the movie Jackass seem to be the exception!) We wondered if people that stop caring for themselves physically have lost their ability to love in some way.

The text also says that "the one who loves his wife loves himself." We talked about how this only makes sense if the two are connected in some deep, mysterious, almost mystical way. We agreed that this could idea be extended to relationships beyond a husband and wife. It is as if the other person is an extension of the self and so the way that we treat that person is actually the way that we are treating ourselves.

We wondered if maybe loving ourselves and loving others is really just the two sides of the same coin. Our friend George said that before he went to prison he didn't care about anyone else and was very hard inside. We were fascinated by this because George is one of the most sensitive and artistic people we know. We talked about how it might be possible to extend our circle of concern ever outward to embrace more and more people recognizing that every person is part of us in some mystical but very real way.

Interestingly, at the end of our discussion George pulled a coin out of his pocket that had heads on both sides! Maybe that coin was a message to us that only emphasizing self love or other love is really a distortion of the authentic two-sided coin of genuine love. We don't think there is any real tension between loving ourselves and loving others. When we love another person we are loving ourselves. And in loving ourselves we learn to love others.

The Healing Power of Friendship

We had a very interesting conversation at the Free Store on Friday morning that started as we reflected on Psalm 23. It is a psalm that is so familiar that we can recite it or hear it without even thinking. So even though it is one of the most well known verses in the bible it is also probably one of the least understood.

We talked about how God is pictured as a shepherd and what that might mean. Why a shepherd? Isn't that a bit of a step down for God? And we decided that maybe that is exactly why that image is so important. It gives us a view of a God that identifies with low status positions and by doing that raises the status of people that don't get the respect they deserve in the world. We joked that maybe we could paraphrase the verse to read, "God is our garbage collector" or "walmart greeter." There are many very important but relatively low status jobs in our society. However, God identifies with people at the low end of the status spectrum! That struck us as a a pretty subversive act of imagination.

We then talked a bit about going from "green pastures" and "still waters" (which we liked to think of as a party with plenty of food and drink!) through the valley of the shadow of death to the house of God. This got us thinking about dark times in our lives.

One of our friends shared that she tried to commit suicide with alcohol and pills when she was 44. Another friend told us that he had been run over by a truck on his bicycle and found himself laying under the truck thinking he might die. Another friend said that he was in a bad car accident when he was younger in which his best friend's girlfriend was killed. As we sat there listening to these painful stories it struck us that unless we get beneath the surface of other people's lives we have no way to know what trauma may lie hidden deep within.

Trauma comes from a greek word which literally means, "a wound." We talked a bit about how we never really know what traumas people have been through in their lives. And yet those wounds may lie just under the surface but never really heal.

We came away from that conversation with a renewed appreciation for the hurt that people often carry around hidden deep within. We also sensed the healing power of relationships where such painful things can be talked about without fear of further injury.

Words Can Never Hurt Me? Really?

We had a great conversation yesterday morning at The Free Store about the power of our words. Words can actually wound and heal, build and destroy. Our friend George shared about how his father could be very abusive and harsh with words and as he spoke I noticed a lot of heads around the room nodding in sad agreement. As a kid I remember my mom used to say, "Paul you are enough to make a preacher cuss, and I ain't no preacher!" And I knew to prepare to have my ears singed (bless her heart).

So we intuitively and through personal and often painful experiences know that words are powerful so we try to protect ourselves from their power. We say things like "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" which we know isn't really true. But that is our way of trying to minimize the harmful power of all the damaging words we have both heard and spoken.

We also talked about how difficult, if not impossible, it is to control our words. We agreed that the tongue is a very unruly part of the anatomy! And it can get us into a whole lot of trouble in short order. But we can tap into a power greater than ourselves and gain self-control if we want. The Genesis story tells us that God created the world through speech. That same story tells us that we are made in the image of God so we felt empowered knowing the incredible power of our words to create new and beautiful things in our lives, our families, and our communities.

George ended our discussion by encouraging us to use the power of our words to heal rather than harm, to bless rather than curse, to create rather destroy.

Go ahead, create something beautiful with your words today! As Nike says, "Just Do It."

My Life As of Today: To Be Healed (by Liz Eagle)

So yesterday morning I caught the tail-end of the conversation at the Free Store. Our friend, Gary, was sharing about a man he knew who was a "serpentine" (or something along those lines. Please keep in mind I came in at the end :)...) The story's summary is that the guy worked with snakes and would systematically inject himself with small amounts of venom in enough increments to where he had developed immunities to the multiple types of snakes he worked with. A while after this, an individual he knew was bitten by a snake and had no anti-venom nor a way to combat his wound. The guy flies to his friend was and is allowed somehow to have his blood injected into his friend, thus healing him and saving his life.

That's some pretty powerful blood.

As we continue talking, our friend Paul, begins to speak on how frequently we pray for miracles, not realizing we're sitting on one everyday. He speaks of a book that takes pages and pages to describe the complex process of the healing process your body goes through when you, for instance, knick yourself while shaving. The blood rushes to the wound, and immediately goes to work to, in essence, heal itself.

That's some pretty powerful blood.

Now, praying for healing is a dangerous thing, much like praying for patience. You pray for patience, you get trying situations. You pray for healing, and, well, you get wounded. We often don't see our miraculous emotional and spiritual healings until we are first hurt and wounded.

So, for me, lately I've been feeling "off". Like something just wasn't right. There had been a lot of bitterness and anger in some aspects of my life. I courageously began to pray for healing, understanding it was an often painful process. Through this prayer, I found myself back in 8th grade, (a scary time for everyone), to an situation I had all but forgotten about.

Sometimes, I realized, things happen to us that inadvertently shape who we will become. We have no control over it. I realized I had let one lie control everything I had become. As I prayed through this healing, I realized the growth could not have come without the pain. The healing could not have come without the acceptance.

As Gary shared of the man with the anti-venom blood's healing ability for his friend, we learn how we can be this for others. The man injected himself with venom little by little, which was painful and uncomfortable. As time went on, the doses became stronger. He also thought it was solely for himself- to allow himself to combat a potential attack. What he found, instead, was that this blood of his was not only good for himself and his own healing, but for others suffering the same types of attacks.

So our wounds and our healings are not just for us. Paul also mentioned that as we are looking for these miracles, we forget that we have the power within us to heal. God has given it to us. This blood flows through our veins. If he is our healer, and he is in us, we are never alone and are never without our Great Physician (both spiritually and physically). You kind of come to accept that there is a greater purpose behing everything, you just have to be willing to let yourself go there.

*Dedicated to my Best Friend/life partner Jamie Smith, who heals me more than she knows*

Bruton Smith or Chilly Willy?

This morning at our free store bible study we talked about a very interesting passage in James chapter 2 about showing favoritism to people based on external appearances. We often size people up based on what we see on the outside, whether it is beauty, fancy clothing, or other symbols of status and wealth. James challenged such judgments and questioned the motives behind them.

We talked about what it would be like if Bruton Smith (the owner of Lowe's Motor Speedway) walked into our meeting followed by Chilly Willy (the most famous homeless man in Charlotte). Why would we be tempted to treat Mr. Smith any better than Chilly? Would we want to give Mr. Smith the best seat in the free store (we laughed because none of the seats would have been nearly nice enough for Mr. Smith!). One of our friends suggested that Mr. Smith may not be nearly as nice and loving as a person as Chilly if you got to know them personally. You can't really see the most important part of a person from the outside!

We talked about how the poor can be rich in faith. And how in God's kingdom everybody would have a place and there would be no one left out in the cold or exposed to the elements. We also observed that those that have the most wealth and power can mistreat and exploit others. Such a kingdom has no future because it is based on violence and fear, but God's kingdom has no end because it is based on peace and love!

One of our new friends told us that he had recently come to Charlotte from New Jersey. He said that he had been homeless for two weeks now but that he was viewing it as a "pilgrimage" and that he was learning a great deal about himself and about his faith. He said that he noticed how some people treated him differently because of it but that he found much to be grateful for.

We decided that making judgments about people based on external appearances is not a very good way to live. The most important things about a person are internal and can't be seen from the outside. And we are all the children of God and have been created in the image of God so at the most basic level we are all equally valuable and important! And that is very good news for all of us.

Goals Can Fail But a Mission Has to Be Accomplished

In our Free Store bible study this morning we explored a segment of the life of Nehemiah. We discovered that Nehemiah was a man on a mission. And as my daughter's friend Brittany said recently, "Goals can fail, but a mission has to be accomplished." That's some profound wisdom from a teenage girl.

Nehemiah had the daunting task of rebuilding the city of Jerusalem that had been sacked and lay in ruins for about 70 years. Amazingly, he did the job in 52 days! Now that was certainly an incredible accomplishment. For 70 years those walls lay in heaps of rubble but in only 52 days Nehemiah had the rubble cleared and the walls stood strongly erect as a symbol of the renewal of the people living within them.

How is something like that possible? There are many things that could be said about such an achievement but our discussion revolved around one verse in particular. "When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about this, they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites." (Neh. 2:10) We think that Nehemiah was successful in his mission because he was doing it for the "welfare" of others. He was motivated by a desire to improve the lives of others and in doing that he tapped into a power greater than his own. In stepping outside the circle of his own personal concerns Nehemiah was empowered by a greater power to do what did not seem humanly possible and had not been done for 70 years.

Our small group was encouraged by Nehemiah. We felt empowered to think that we could achieve things that we might not have thought possible in the past, hard things that remained undone in our lives, in our families, and in our communities. Our friend George felt encouraged that he could complete his studies and get his GED at the age of 51. Another friend said that she felt that God would help her attend the funeral of a friend that she was afraid would be too diffult and painful to attend.

It is extremely empowering to think that we can achieve great things, things we might have thought impossible, by taking upon ourselves the "mission" of promoting the well-being of others!

Touch the Fire

I've been thinking a lot lately about finding your way when you feel lost. About getting your bearings when you feel disoriented. About finding your mojo when life has sucked you dry. All these things are painful in themselves and we often struggle in isolation to understand our lives. But we don't have to be alone!

So often though it is our own hardness that creates and then perpetuates the isolation. We put up strong defenses in the form of emotional and mental barriers against others, even those we are closest to. I think we do it to protect the spark of the soul, to preserve that one final reservoir of vitality from being snuffed out in a cold and dark world.

And we suffer because we can't really connect with those around us. Well, we connect but its rarely at that deep center that we are trying to preserve. Because real connection with real people is risky. They may quench the fire! No. No. Or they may stoke the fire. Gasp. Gasp. And either way that is the end of us, or so we think. "Oh that is just way too dangerous," we think to ourselves! Not consciously but at the deepest core of our being which we aren't even aware of for the most part.

However, it occurred to me that the fire at the center of our lives is in reality a divine fire. That fire can't be blown out or even stoked by another human being (although there are other fires in us that can be!). It's just a small spark of that divine fire that penetrates the coldness of an infinite universe and draws out the dormant life that is there.

And there are special moments when that divine spark in one soul touches the divine spark in another. It can happen between friends, and spouses, and even maybe somebody we've just met. And it is truly magical and beautiful but hard oh so hard to manage. It seems to me that such experiences remind us that life is a gift and grace is alive!

Opening Up to the Life That is Waiting

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." (Joseph Campbell)

It is no easy thing to give up on one's plans. At least if it's a plan in which we have invested significant amounts of thought and energy. And it is often quite inspiring to hear the stories of those that have persevered in spite of difficulties to achieve something against the odds! However, we also instinctively know that the life we planned is not always the life we get to live. And if we refuse to open ourselves to a reality other than that which we intended we might become embittered by what seems like failure.


Great literature reminds us that life is a journey over which we have little control. The stories of heroes such as Gilgamesh and Oddyseus remind us that life is a road with many twists and turns along the way. Life is determined largely by the way that we respond to the circumstances that impinge on our plans and frustrate our desires!


The book of Genesis records the story of Abraham, one of the great heroes of the Jewish faith. "Now the Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.'" (Gen. 12:1-3)


Abraham is here asked to leave the life he was planning for himself and to embark on a journey with no roadmap. He was asked to leave the security of his nation, his culture, and his immediate family into an unknown and seemingly insecure future. Abraham experienced this as a divine invitation to step out and embrace the life that awaited him. And in giving up the life he had planned for himself and embracing the life that was waiting on the distant horizon he became a different man than he would otherwise have been.


Sometimes it is in letting go of the life that we planned for ourselves that we open ourselves to the life that is waiting!