You Just Might Gain a Friend by Cancelling a Debt

At our Free Store conversation on Tuesday morning we talked about Jesus' parable in Luke 7:41-42, "A Creditor Had Two Debtors."  The gist of the story is that a man lends money to two other people.  One is a relatively small loan but the other is a much larger amount.  However, neither man could ultimately pay the loan back.  Surprisingly, the creditor cancels the debt.  Jesus then asks the question, "Which of the two will love the creditor more?"

We started the conversation by talking a bit about how much money was involved.  One guy owed fifty denarii and the other guy owed five hundred.  Rick said a denarius was a silver coin but didn't know exactly how much that would be in modern terms.  Someone else brought up that a denarius was a day's pay for a day laborer.  Another friend said, "We may not know exactly how much money is involved but there is a big difference between fifty and five hundred" which made us laugh.  Ultimately we estimated that one of the loans was the equivalent of two months pay and the other the equivalent of two years wages.

At this point we talked a bit about getting in debt and not being able to get out of it.  One of our friends said that he had over ten thousand dollars of debt in fines, child support, and back taxes.  Another friend said she had to declare bankruptcy because of hundreds of thousands of dollars debt.  She said that she got so far in debt because she had good credit and helped her family get loans.  Someone else said they owed about twenty thousand dollars in credit cards and car loans.  We talked a bit about the stress it places on us to be in debt and how this limits our freedom in many ways.  Sheila said that her parents "had a strong will and didn't want to be in debt."  Someone else brought up that we might eliminate some debt if we were just willing to delay our desire for immediate gratification and save for the things we really wanted.

As the conversation continued we talked a bit about the guy lending the money.  Someone said that in order to make loans he must have had a surplus.  This led us to talk about what we do with our money when we have a little extra.  Sheila said, "Maybe I want that big old hamburger" which made us laugh.  Donald said, "People think it's all about money.  You gotta survive.  I don't put my trust in money.  I put my trust in God.  You can't take nothin with you in the world.  That car will be sittin here when you go."

At this point someone brought up about how we often think that if we do something for someone else that they are then obligated to do something for us.  He said, "We are always calculating how much we owe people and what they owe us."  Rick said, "My general manager used to give five thousand dollars to each political party.  That way whoever won was in his back pocket" which made us laugh.  Marney said, "I'm in a situation like that right now.  It's between obligation versus wanting to help someone.  I'm wondering why they are helping me out.  What do they want in return?"  Sheila made us laugh when she blurted out, "You owe me" although we weren't sure who she was talking to.  Someone said, "The best relationships are mutual.  It's the give and take that ultimately makes it work between people.  If it's too one-sided things will break down at some point.  It's like an electric current.  If the circuit isn't closed the lights will go out."

As the conversation moved to its conclusion we talked about the significance of having a debt cancelled.  Someone brought up that the English used to have debtor's prisons for people that couldn't pay their loans.  Rick said, "It's called not paying child support now" which made us laugh.  Another friend told us about visiting a prison and seeing the picture of a woman that had been locked up there for failing to pay a small loan.  Someone else said, "You can get in trouble for writing bad checks" which made us laugh.  A new friend said, "We lent a family member $3,500 and only got back $600.  Sometimes family will do you the same way as strangers.  It puts a strain on the relationship."  Someone else said, "Maybe today we have the chance to cancel a debt that is owed to us, whether it's money or something else.  Maybe you could take the view that you just might gain a friend by cancelling a debt.  That relationship might be more valuable to us in the long run than what we could have gained by demanding payment.  At the end of the day your money isn't going to be there to wipe your ass or hold your hand when you are dying."  Marney said, "That's gross even though its true" which made us laugh.