How Often Does the "Don't System" Push People to "Do"?

Carlos joined us (late as usual and was teased as usual) for our Wednesday morning free store conversation.  We started the discussion with a question raised by our online friend Greg that read last Wednesday's blog and asked the following question, "In your group what was the consensus on how often the "don't" system actually pushes people to "do"?"   While studying Romans 7:1-18 in the New Testament we have been looking at the idea that to prohibit something often increases the desire to do that which is prohibited.  Marney said that personality had a lot to do with it.  She talked about her three kids (Rico, Marco, and Salina) and how they were all different in the way they responded to her parental authority from Rico's direct rebellion to Salina's more subtle expression of independence.

Carlos suggested that everybody is just trying to "find your own voice."  He said, "If everybody around you is saying 'Yes' then you will probably say 'No.'  But if everybody is saying 'No' then you will probably say 'Yes'."  Another of our friends said, "The law activates a universal innate rebellion against external authority."  We talked a bit about how pushing the rules too hard can often lead to even more resistance.  Someone told the group that his teenage daughter will often say "No" when asked to do something but that given time she will normally do it.  He felt it is counterproductive to push too hard because that just stimulates her desire to resist and then it becomes a major struggle.  We laughed when he told us that his son was just the opposite and would say "Yes" but generally not follow through and had to be prodded.  So it's complicated.

As the conversation continued we talked about how the law/don't system is generally good because it prohibits things that are harmful to ourselves or others.  Someone pointed out that although law is frequently negative that it can be positive as well in that it contains commands such as "Honor your parents" and "Love your neighbor."  At this Rick said, "The law is only a guideline.  It's good advice but you don't have to follow it" which made us laugh.  This led us to talk a bit about how law exists, at least ideally, to protect and enhance life.  Carlos brought up that there are many ways "we can make life flourish without waiting for money."  We talked about how by resisting the law people begin to live by life-destroying rules such as "Dishonor others" and "Harm your neighbor."  Someone mentioned a tragic example of this in a case in Philadelphia where four mentally handicapped persons were caged and chained in an apartment basement.  Apparently their captors were trying to use their identities to get their social security disability benefits.

As the conversation moved to its conclusion Marney said "Look at how we are treating the earth.  The earth is rebelling and the ozone layer is breaking down.  There are consequences for our actions."  Carlos said that research has shown that pollution from automobiles has been proven to cause cancer and yet we keep driving our cars.  Someone said, "If 100 people are peeing in the pool then what difference does it make if I don't?" which made us laugh.  This led us to some good natured talk about what it means to act with integrity as an individual even when we think our actions might not make much of an impact on society.  Someone else said that although individual action is important that we are all part of bigger systems which is why we need social change as much as individual transformation.