You Can't Just Half-Ass Ask

Our lively cougar friend Liz joined us for our Free Store conversation on Tuesday morning and said she had been thinking about a verse in the biblical book of James the last couple of days. However, before we got that far into the conversation our friend Jack had said, "I've been married for 45 years. I think it's gonna last" which had us laughing.

To begin the conversation Liz actually read James 1:2-8 and said that the thing that stuck out for her was the phrase in verse 5 that says God gives wisdom "to all without finding fault." Liz said, "There are things that I do that aren't very wise."  At this Jack said, "Don't we all" which made us smile.  Liz went on to tell us that she didn't always spend money wisely, or make very good food choices, or handle relationships very well.  And she said that we might begin to think that we have to deserve wisdom.  However, she said that the reality is that wisdom is there for us, right there for the taking if we ask for it.  But she said that "you can't just half-ass ask God for wisdom" which we thought was both clever and very funny.  At this point Liz asked us to share our thoughts on the passage she had read or the thoughts she had presented.

Jack raised the question about why we want wisdom.  He thought there would be an important distinction between wanting wisdom to do things for God or just to do things for yourself.  This led Marney to talk about how she felt she needed a lot of wisdom in dealing with her children.  She said that her oldest son Marco goes through depression and that she fears he will either die or go to jail because of the way he is acting.  She talked about how she could be overbearing and take charge which is something that she sees in her mom and doesn't like.  At this point Eddie mentioned the Serenity Prayer and Mickey said, "I know that prayer."  Both of them then said together but not quite in unison, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."  We talked about how wisdom is knowing the difference between the things we have control over and the things we don't and learning to focus only on the things we can control.

Jack said that although people definitely get old they don't necessarily get wise.  He said that wisdom consists in learning over time what not to do.  He went on to say that we learn this either by personally paying the price or seeing someone else pay it.  Our friend Eddie said, "I look at things my momma and daddy did" and learn from their mistakes.  He also said that small things can make a big difference, even something like picking a flower for your wife.  He said, "wisdom is choosing an action that helps you out in the long run."  Marney told us about a decision she made at one point to spend money on a rather expensive dessert at Amelies rather than putting gas in her car.  She said that wisdom tells her that "since I'm on a fixed income, don't eat at Amelies" which made us laugh.  She went on to claim (without any hard evidence) that she had first had these expensive and delicious treats at the Free Store.

Athis point our friend Liz said that a lot of her personal trials came from wanting to be in control.  She said that her friend Jamie had told her recently to make a list of everything that was bothering her in some way and then to cross out everything that she didn't have control over.  Liz said the list got much smaller as she crossed things out but that she felt better focusing on the few things she could do something about.  Eddie said that rather than do something half-assed or halfway that we should do things through and through to get better results.

As the conversation moved to a conclusion our friend George said that he had learned to walk away from trouble because he didn't want to end up dead or back in jail.  Our friend Donald said that people in the place he was livin were smokin and drinkin every night.  He said that he didn' want to do this coz of his faith in God and what the bible said.  So we encouraged Donald to keep making wise decisions and taking responsiblity for his own life.