It Will Be All Right Baby

In our Free Store conversation on Friday morning Sheila got us started by asking the question, "What is peace?"  She said that this was on her mind because she didn't feel like she had it right now.  She told us that she felt trapped in her room like a prisoner.  She said, "I know I have to do the laundry" but I just don't have the motivation.  She was baffled because she said that she had never really been like this before but she knew it had something to do with Dave's recent death.  She thought it was a motivation problem and that maybe she just needed some vitamins.

At this point Rick said that isolation is a sign of depression.  This led us to talk about how depression is one of the stages that many people will go through in dealing with a loss in their lives.  Someone said that it was important to recognize that depression was just a natural stage that we go through and that those negative feelings won't last forever.  Just as the ocean tide comes in and goes out at regular intervals so do our feelings ebb and flow.  We are, as human beings, part of the natural world and subject to laws that govern our emotional and inner lives.

We also discussed the importance of getting out and being around people even though we may not want the company but it does help us to get out of our own minds and engage others.   George told us that he had been depressed when he first went into prison but that things got better when he started receiving letters and eventually visits from his family.  He also told us that when he feels down  he likes to get out and go see the hot dog man.  He told us that man has fed and encouraged many people on the streets of Charlotte over many years.

We talked about how it might be necessary just to force ourselves to go through the motions and do things even though we don't feel like doing them.  Someone made us laugh when they said that sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it.  This led us to talk about how it can be helpful to stay active and get some exercise when we are depressed.  Exercise stimulates the release of happy chemicals called endorphins into our system which can help us to feel better.  Rick said that he had been taking anti-depressants like Prozac for about 10 years.  Since depression is a chemical imbalance it can be helped with drugs as well as diet and exercise.

At this point Sheila got back in the conversation and told us that she needed to pack Dave's stuff up because it really hit her last night that he wasn't coming back.  There were tears in her eyes as she said this and we all felt moved by her pain.  She also told us that she had heard his voice a couple of times saying, "It will be all right baby."  She said that she had hardly slept last night thinking about all this.  Rick said that when you lay down for the night 1 of 2 things will happen: 1.) you will go to sleep, or 2.) the sun will rise.  This made us laugh and even Sheila seemed to enjoy the humor of our sanguine friend.

George said that it was very hard when he lost his twin brother followed by his mother and then sister.  He said his sister was over 400 pounds and died of a heart attack.  He said that he had to get away from his hometown because there were just too many painful memories for him there.  This led us to talk about how places can actually trigger memories which is why it is important to deal with our losses so that we can continue our routines even though they remind us of the things or people we have lost.

As our discussion moved to a conclusion we talked about how we have to find hope to get us through the dark times of discouragement.  Someone said that because God's love never fails that we can have hope that even the bad and painful things that happen in our lives can be turned to good.  Ironically, as we started talking about this George's chair collapsed and he got a nasty eight inch cut on the back from a protruding screw.  This brought our conversation to an abrupt end as we tended to our wounded friend and then teased him throughout the day about breaking our chair on Friday the 13th!